Thomas Carlyle said, "The illimitable, silent, never-resting thing called Time, rolling rushing on, swift, silent like an all-ebmracing ocean-tide, on which we and all the universe swim like exhalations, like apparitions which are, and then are not..."
It would appear that I blinked, and suddenly we are almost mid-way through February. How is that possible? Today is the 104th calendar day of school (we've missed 4, and today is a snow day due to a storm rolling in), although we won't be celebrating the hundredth day until tomorrow, or possibly Monday. In only 72 school days, we will be saying goodbye to the kids for the summer. Corey's mid-winter break starts today and extends until Sunday. He isn't coming home, but it's just one more reminder that time is rushing by.
My days are long, and busy. My body decided sometime back late last spring, that it was done with sleeping all night. I used to be able to get a solid 6 hours of sleep, and then 6 hours from whenever I fell asleep, I would be wide awake. Then summer rolled around, and my sleep got all crazy and I would wake at 2 or 3 am, and there was no rhyme or reason to it. Now, I am lucky if I can mange 5 hours. Mostly though, like some internal alarm is going off, I wake at 3am. I cannot remember the last time I heard my actual alarm clock, and would be shocked to hear it ring. Some days, I don't bother to set it.
I get up, do a few chores, do college work for several hours, spend half an hour getting some exercise in, eat breakfast, get ready for work, and then it's off to school. After a long day there, I come home, do a few more chores, make some tea, and it's back to the books/computer. After dinner I put in another hour or two, and then I try to spend a few hours relaxing before bed. They key there is try. Right now, I spend that time watching the Olympics in the arms of my man. I can usually last about 20 minutes before I fall sound asleep. I think to myself sometimes that I will knit, or look at a few magazines, and it never works out. I reserve time on the weekends for that, and I generally let Sunday be a day of non-study/work.
This cycle is my new normal and will be for the next few years, and we are working on making it work. Having a supportive spouse makes such a big difference, and I know that I wouldn't be able to do any of this without him. I have always been the one doing the supporting, and it's hard to let go of some of the things that need letting go of, and let someone else take charge and support you. I am learning, and in that process I am grateful that each and every day is a chance to start over new.