Friday, March 22, 2013

A Light Shines in the Darkness...

I sat down with my cup of tea and opened my in-box. The first business at hand was to print out my grocery list. I heard the tone of my phone in the kitchen announcing that I had a text message and let it be. I knew that at this hour it was The Boy announcing that he was on his way home, late, and why. Grateful that today I got a message, I printed off my list and went out to see what it read. He told me that he was just leaving, that he had been in a meeting with the Band Director and Head of guidance about a rumor from cast party that was held this past weekend after the musical ended on Saturday night. A knot formed in my stomach. I wasn't too alarmed that the head of guidance was involved, as the party was held at her house, (we consider her a friend) but I can't imagine why my man was involved, unless it involved my daughter. Our minds are interesting, the way they spin images and worst case scenarios before us, leaving us in a pit of worry that often never materializes. I decided there was nothing more to be done until he came home and we could talk about it, and sat back down to my email and tea.

The next mail I clicked on brought me to Ann. Ann has been speaking right to the very depths of my heart for several years now. Sometimes I wonder if God doesn't whisper into her ear what's troubling my soul, and convince her that she should write a blog post about it, as often times I click onto her page and read about exactly what's brewing in my worried mind, or happening in my life. Today, she left a photo of her Advent/Lenten wreath, lit in prayer for those hurting in the aftermath of a recent case of rape out in Steubenville, Ohio. Being I don't follow any news too closely, I only learned about it this week on Ann's page, when she shared a very moving response to it here. My brother went to college in Steubenville, which was how it first caught my eye. Having already known what today's prayer reference was too, I put my tea down, and spent the next few minutes in quiet prayer. I prayed for the families who have been immediately affected by this recent tragedy. I prayed for their friends, that they might have the strength to help them overcome the hurt and heartache. I prayed for my daughter, and my nieces, that they might never know the pain of betrayal by boys or men, as I have. I prayed that someday, we could live in a world where men know how to treat women, and they pass that knowledge on to their sons and nephews, and women and girls can be safe.

When I was done, he walked through the door and came in to see me. It seems a mother overheard an unfounded rumor and started some trouble with it at the H.S. Of course it was nothing close to what my thoughts had lead themselves to for those few minutes that I gave worry over to it earlier, but my heart is sad and heavy for my friend who has to deal with the aftermath of this situation after all the work she put into doing such a nice thing for all of our children. There is so much ugliness to be found, during this time of year when the world is still grey and messy. We are waiting for new life to return with the grass and the flowers and the tree buds, and for it to not just say spring on the calendar, but for it to feel like it in the air. So as we head into this last full week of Lent, and prepare for Easter when we celebrate new life and rebirth, I know I plan on taking extra time to be grateful for all of the blessings that I have been given in my life. To spend extra time with my loved ones and cherish every moment of our time together.

Saturday, March 02, 2013

What If....

What if, just maybe, there was a way to combine a whole bunch of the things on that list into one brand new career? What if I have been spending a huge chunk of time this week while I've been away from school thinking about how miserable my job has become, and how stuck I feel, and one day, while watching a music video with impoverished children in it, I had an idea? What if it's so scary to think about, that I'm not sure I'm ready to say it out loud yet? So many things have to fall into place in order for this crazy idea to work out, but I'm completely open to it and know from past experience that if it's meant to be, all of those things will happen as they need to. I'm ready to find out.