Friday, September 09, 2011
This year however, this year is kicking my rear. It started out on such a great note. I was in a good place for the first time in a long time, and during January I went away on an amazing retreat that changed my life in so many different ways. I really had high hopes for the year. Goals for myself and things I wanted to work on. Plans for the house and the yard and a million other things that were rattling around in my brain.
February came, and we all know how much I loathe February as it is, and everything changed. Health issues cropped up. I stopped running (mostly due to the aforementioned). Projects I had been working on stalled. My faith wavered and my spirit was crushed. The wind was literally knocked right out of my sails. Six and a half months later, and I feel like I'm still struggling so hard to get back to where I was in January. I am tired, and cranky, and just worn down. Part of me wishes I could just rewind to that fateful week, and do it differently. The rest of me thinks that in the end, all of this will be worth it to finally have some answers. The part that is barely hanging on... well... right now I'm glad the knot at the end of my rope is pretty big.