For a long time, I stayed away from my blog. There was so much hurt in my heart and brokenness in my life that the thought of coming and writing it down felt depressing. When I went through and added jump breaks to all the old posts (something I've gotten bad about doing again), I noticed that there were lulls during some of the years. If I thought back upon those times I could remember what was going on at that point in our lives. Health concerns. Marriage struggles. Parenting heartbreaks. Not all of what we have battled over the last several years has made it here, because some of it is not mine to share. That, and I'm not sure anyone wanted to read about it(not that I'm sure anyone is reading anyhow).
Then one day this year I had a revelation. If all we ever share about is what is good and right with ourselves, we paint a very skewed image of what is going on in our lives. When I go and read other blogs that I visit, most of them are full of positive going-ons and what is right with the world with a very occasional tragedy thrown into the mix. Reading those all the time, especially when your life feels like it's falling apart, makes you feel like a failure. Fortunately for me, there are a few blogs in my reading list that keep it real. They post the every day trials and tribulations that they go through, though not always in great detail, and make me feel just a little less alone. That's when I realized that this is my blog after all. I write for me, when it comes down to it, and sometimes writing is like therapy. Sometimes when you can't share what you feel with anyone else, it helps just to get it out somewhere.
Maybe it has been a little dark around here these days. Maybe you get here and think, "Oh, really? Another post about how her marriage is struggling? What happened to the fun posts, and the great photos?" Bear with me. Right now I'm just trying to get back in the swing of blogging again. Those post will return, even if they are scattered in between the rest. There is a quote a love that says,"When the Japanese mend broken objects, they aggrandize the damage by filling the cracks with gold. They believe that when something's suffered damage and has a history it becomes more beautiful."~ Barbara Bloom. I'm going to be the most beautiful girl in the world when all this is over. (winks)