Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Ides of March

Well, here we are. 20 days away from spring's official start. Let's forget for a minute that in NH, spring doesn't start until early May. Spring in March is a lovely idea. Even if it really just means that mud-season is starting.

March is a funny kind of month for me. It holds a lot of anniversary dates, and even though weather-wise I don't care for it at all, I have a special place for March.

March is the month of my blogerversary. We'll chat more on that when it gets here.

March 13th is the 13th anniversary of a horrific car accident I was in that should've taken my life. I wasn't driving, and we had no business even being on the road. A blizzard was heading in and my mother was pissed that I was going out. But a friend wanted my help, and being a sucker I said yes. Besides, what the hell did mom know? We were supposed to be home by noon. At noon I was lying on a bed in a hospital, wishing I was dead, because dead didn't hurt so bad, did it? The 2 state police officers that arrived on the scene wrote us off as dead. "There's no way anyone could've survived this one." I head one say as they walked towards the car. Well, we both did. And many years, and lots of pain later, I have physical issues tied into this accident that will never go away. While part of me begrudges it, a smaller part of me sees it as a constant reminder of the grace of God. I'm still here, aren't I?

March is also the anniversary of the day I met the boy. It was about 5 days after the above accident, and I had gone to a youth group meeting with my brother. I was feeling horrible, physically and emotionally, and due to hip issues I was crutching around and sore as all get out. I had bruises and cuts and bandages and I was just a mess. And across the room, there he was. Tall and handsome, and unknown. My brother introduced us, and the rest as they say, is history.

March was the month I got pregnant with my son. I was 19 years old, and way to young to be responsible for another life other than my own... but there I was. You deal with the wrenches life throws you one day at a time. That was the only way I made it back then. He's 11 years old now. I haven't one regret about how my life turned out. Not one.

March 26th will be the 5 year anniversary of the day I quit smoking. Cold turkey. I started smoking when I was 17. My parents were fighting and life was just crappy and it seemed like a good idea at the time. I smoked, sometimes heavily until I was almost 29. Almost half my life at the time I quit. There have been days that I have craved the stress relief smoking provided, but it was the best thing I ever did for myself.

In like a lion... out like a lamb.

3 comments:

Jeanie said...

Wow... March certainly does hold many special memories for you then doesn't it?

So are you working on any new and exciting projects for the month of March???

Awesome Abby said...

No wonder it's a special month for you! It must be your reward for making it through Feb!

Carly said...

March is when my first baby WOULD have been born. As in, the pregnancy before Beth, which I miscarried, which was due March 17. I just knew I was going to have a girl with red curly hair for my Irish husband. At least, that's what I thought.

Sorry... not a cheerful memory. I still wish I had gotten a chance to know that baby. S/he would have been 12 this year.