Dear Nephew Who Shall Be Named at A Later Date:
Throughout the many hours I have spent knitting for you... I have sent loving baby vibes your way. You've already shown us that you are fighter.... hang in there through these last 7 weeks. Your mom is excited about your arrival, and may have gotten carried away with her baby registry. That is OK, she's entitled. I thought perhaps you'd like a few more meaningful gifts, and I hope you enjoy them. This little blanket was by far the biggest project I've ever undertaken during my knitting career, and I'm rather happy with how it turned out. I hope it keeps you warm and cozy, and who knows... maybe you'll lug it around when you are older.
To The Boy:
Thank you for letting me stay home today. I don't know why I feel so crappy. I thought perhaps as the week went on that I was fighting something off.. and now I don't know if I'm fighting or in the early stages of some horrid crud. I was willing to go the extra mile and drag myself to the shower today so you can see your dad. (I Love your dad and I miss him). Instead you went the extra mile and took the kids and left me home to rest and get better. Thank you so much. I ironed all your work shirts to show my appreciation. It's not as good as say, homemade cookies, but it will have to do.
All my love,
To the idiots who littered the world with those stupid signs:
In case you haven't noticed, voting day has come and gone. I don't know why you think that placing your candidate sign every 3 feet in a 1/2 mile section is going to make anyone want to vote for him/her. In fact, it makes me want to vote for your opponent. One sign every half mile would be sufficient. And hey, you'd have less signs to stick out. Now in case you weren't aware, there are rules regarding political signs. They must be removed by the second Friday after the election, which by my calculations is in 5 short days. Let's get a move on, times running out!
One irate homeowner.
And Finally, to the person who left their birth-control measure in my yard:
I have to say, in my sick and tired haze I wouldn't have even noticed it. I was raking.. but my body had switched over to auto-pilot and I was pretty oblivious to just about everything. But when The Boy pointed out to me what was right in front of my rake, I bust out laughing. I hope that your lady friend wasn't too disappointed when you realized you lost "it." More than that, I hope that you restrained yourself and didn't go ahead with your plans anyhow. The world doesn't need any more unwanted babies. But what I hope for most of all... is that you weren't in the middle of procreating in my yard, and got scared off by the cops driving down their driveway. I'm just glad my children didn't find it first.
Too tired to care.