"I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be."
~ Douglas Adams
Friday, June 17, 2011
I'm not really sure how we got to be at Friday already, but yet, here we are. This past week has been insanely crazy, and I'm quite glad to see it over and done with. We only have two days left of school, and I can't really wrap my brain around another year ending. Where has the time gone? As part of our Everyday Math program, we have a number line that goes around our classroom, and it starts at -10 and goes to 180. (181 actually, we added a day to it). On day 1, we start an arrow that travels along the number line, ticking off how many days we have been in school. I can remember how excited we were to get to the first "double digit" day, and then we got to day 60 which was 1/3 of the way through the year, and then my favorite day.. 90. Everyone gets excited about day 100, but really.. day 90 is where it's at. Day 90 marks half way. Day 90 usually falls in late January when the world is cold, and dark, and grey, and winter has wrapped it's icy, depressive tendrils around my heart and I'm ready to hole up in my house and not come out again until spring. Day 90 marks hope that in due time, the sun will come back, the trees will turn green again, and eventually we will hit day 181 and the year will be over. It seems like it was so long ago... and just yesterday all at the same time.
On Tuesday, Ms. Thang will graduate from 8th grade, and in the fall the both of them will be in HS together. Someone once told me, when they were much smaller and I was overwhelmed with it all, to enjoy them while they were young. To let go of the "must do's" of life, and just enjoy having them because when they got older it would go by in a blink. At the time I couldn't see how that was possible.. and now I'd give it all to go back and have them small again. To keep them safe and free of the stress and craziness that plagues their lives. To take them into my lap and read them stories and get good night hugs and kisses and say prayers before bed. Now I settle for a "Goodnight mom" and try to ignore the messy rooms and eye rolling and teen angst, because in a few short years they will be gone and the house will be empty and quiet. Something we have never known in our married lives. I don't know if I'm ready.