I know that puberty is a tricky point in life. Hormones rage. Tempers flare. All these things are going on in your brain and your body and you can't quite figure out how to deal with it all. I get it. I've been there. What I don't get is how you continue to do such dumb things to get yourself in trouble. You are so effing smart.. yet you seem to have the common sense of a rock. The last thing I want to do before I walk out the door on a Friday afternoon after one of the suckiest work weeks ever is have to go into the principals office to discuss you. More precisely, why I think you continue to do dumb things like throw Unifix Cubes in class. OK, so I might have chuckled for one half second when I heard that your intended target ducked and you nailed your teacher instead. I might have laughed out loud when he came to talk to me about it after school. But it's not funny! You could've hurt someone badly. You know better than to throw things at school. You hear me holler about throwing things at home enough. Use those smarts for something other than good grades... THINK before you do things. Always.
Dear Idiots Who Run the Soccer League,
My daughter has played in your stupid league for 3 years now. As a Junior. Which was fine, as that was where she needed to be, and the place her age dictated that she played. This year she is 9. This year she is in 4th grade. This year she is SUPPOSED to be a Senior. But no. You decide at the eleventh hour to change the rules. There is no grade division anymore. Now we have an age division. 6-7-8 year olds will be juniors and 9-10-11 will be seniors. So how the hell is it that my daughter came home from sign ups last night and is an EFFING JUNIOR AGAIN? Oh, because you decided anyone born after July 1st is playing the age before. Umm.. OK? So she missed the cutoff by 24 days. Because you are a bunch of asshats, she is THE ONLY DAMN KID in her grade that is a junior. Think about how she must feel. Her whole class of friends that play soccer with her, seniors. So she doesn't get to play with her teammates. She doesn't get to play with her class. I'm sure she's embarrassed and is going to get teased. That makes me want to pull her arse out of your stupid league and let her play somewhere else. You better make this right tomorrow when we scrimmage to set the teams, or I will bad mouth you in every publication in the region, and then a few more.
One Pissed OFF Mom
Dear Chris the Roof Guy,
I'm so happy to hear your motorcycle pulling into my driveway again. It makes my heart happy to know that the bulk of the roofs (man we have a lot of damn roofs) will be replaced and leak free before the snow flies this year. Thank you for doing such a great job and being so awesome. I trust you with my house and I sing your praises to everyone who asks about the roofs you worked on last summer. Thank you for being honest and decent. I'm adding you to my Christmas card list this year.
One Happy Homeowner
Confidential to The Boy,
Thank you for being so great and understanding. Thank you for not caring if things get done when they should be, or the next day, or never. Thank you for making dinner on the nights that my brain can't even function clearly enough to remember what we had for dinner the night before, let alone what we should be having that night and how to go about getting it to the table. Thank you for putting up with my crankiness and for rubbing my tight, stress laden shoulders when you come up behind me. I appreciate all of the things you do around the house and with the kids that I don't notice. Thank you for making me coffee and reminding me to do things that I need to get done but don't have the energy to think about. I'm sorry for the nights I fall asleep on the couch. Thank you for not leaving me there and loving me enough to get me to bed. You are what keeps me going most days. I love you.
(*there would've been a photo to go along with this post.. but bloggers got a bug up it's arse)