Because I Am Your Mother, That's Why

Dear Son,

Now that you've been a teenager for almost 36 hours, I wish to offer you some advice. It is your choice to take it or leave it, but as your mother it is my obligation to give it. Listen Up.

It's not the end of the world if you have a bad hair day. Just because your hair is sticking out a little, or a little too "fluffy" doesn't mean that girls will laugh and point and boys will beat you up. Everyone has bad hair days. That is why they invented hats. I realize that it's been about 8 weeks since we have had our hair cut. I generally get my hair cut every 8 weeks. If you want to continue coming with me, you will adhere to my schedule or I will have your father buzz it all back to it's previous short self. I realize that the lady said you could come back in 6 weeks. I realize that for the past two weeks it's been a little "shaggy". Have you forgotten already what it looked like before I dragged you to have it cut prior to Dottie's funeral? I think you have. Move On.


Your sister is the best gift your father and I will ever give you. When all your chump friends have moved on and gone their separate ways, your sister will still be there. Go easy on her. She's not as annoying as you make her out to be (or at least no more annoying than you are to her). She may tell you how happy she is when you are away at a friends, but she loves you. Why else would she (with my supervision) just have spent the better part of the afternoon making you lemon squares to celebrate your birthday with when she doesn't even like lemon? Don't give her crap about how your birthday was yesterday and blah blah blah. We chose to take you out to celebrate and I told her we'd make the lemon squares today. Thank her and keep your comments to yourself.

Your father wouldn't give you such a hard time if he didn't love you. Let's face it... the apple didn't fall far from the tree here. You are a miniature version of your dad, with a bit of my attitude and spunk thrown in for good measure. Your father recognizes this, and is trying to prevent you from going down the same road he did. That incident with the pocket knife last week? Grampy doled out a far harsher punishment on dad than you got. Be thankful. Try to remember that if dad didn't love you, he would let you sink like a rock.

In 10 years from now (seriously, that short of a time) none of this will matter. Middle School will be a blip on the radar of your past, and there will be very little of it that will still be of importance to you. Hold on to your close friends.. they will be your biggest treasure. Study a little. Getting straight A's isn't as "dorky" as it was in elementary school. You have the potential to go very far in your life. Make good choices. Don't be embarrassed that a girl asked you to a dance. Your sister only made fun of you because she's jealous that she can't go to a dance. Stand up for what you feel strongly about, but do it in a non-defensive manor. That will get you much further than copping an attitude. Trust me on this. Just because you've grown 8 inches in the past 2 years and are less than 2 inches short of being the same size as me, doesn't give you the right to treat me like one of your pals. Be respectful. Oh, and don't forget the sunscreen.

Love always,
Mama

*photo from summer 2006