Deja-Vu

You ever have one of those moments that just kind of smacks you up the side of the head like a brick. Kind of like a light bulb moment.. but bigger.

Tonight was our monthly PTO meeting and during the course of the meeting we talked about 6th grade graduation. And how when we were in school, you only graduated from Jr. High and HS. And that got me to thinking about Baccalaureate, which always makes me misty because my group of friends who were the most awesome singers EVER did a rendition of Billy Joel's "And so it Goes" kind of as a going away present to the class. And I can never think of graduation without thinking of that and humming to myself. NEVER.

So FFWD 4 hours, and I'm poking around on my computer, bideing time until bed.. and I check out my friend Carly's blog that I haven't read all weekend, and lo and behold.. she posts about Billy Joel. And lyrics to one of his songs (I am a huge fan.. I have all his stuff) and at the very bottom of her post.. is a tiny footnote that says "And So it Goes" is by far his best song ever. You can check out her blog over in my links.

So there I am.. all thoughtful about her post and her mood, and thinking of how skulky and blah my own has been lately, and I go check out Billy's site and do a lyric search for And So It Goes.. so I can hum along with the words (yes I'm a dork)and it hits me what the hell my problem has been.

This was mother's day weekend. The first one without my mom, and even though I haven't seen her on the day in a few years.. using the "I have my own kids now" route.. It really was hard on me not having her around. And it didn't help that we had to have a first communion party and my MIL had to be here (we don't usually see her either). Thanks for not posting "Wind Beneath my Wings" C.. that might've just done me in.

For your humming enjoyment... one of my top 10 favorite songs.


And So It Goes
Storm Front Released: 1989

In every heart there is a room
A sanctuary safe and strong
To heal the wounds from lovers past
Until a new one comes along

I spoke to you in cautious tones
You answered me with no pretense
And still I feel I said too much
My silence is my self defense

And every time I've held a rose
It seems I only felt the thorns
And so it goes, and so it goes
And so will you soon I suppose

But if my silence made you leave
Then that would be my worst mistake
So I will share this room with you
And you can have this heart to break

And this is why my eyes are closed
It's just as well for all I've seen
And so it goes, and so it goes
And you're the only one who knows

So I would choose to be with you
That's if the choice were mine to make
But you can make decisions too
And you can have this heart to break

And so it goes, and so it goes
And you're the only one who knows