"I mean," he went on, "how are you supposed to go from seeing that to wanting to be with ... ?" He stopped, but his eyes kept asking the question.
"Right," I said. "It gets easier with time, for just about everyone."
Although no one seems to talk publicly about the problem, Josh is only one of dozens of men who have confided to me that witnessing the births of their children has made it difficult for them to be attracted to their wives, at least in the short run.
They seem to have trouble seeing them as sexual beings after seeing them make babies, trouble reverting to a mind-set in which their wives' sexual anatomy is just that - not associated with images of new life emerging through the birth canal.Ummm... woah. There are so many things going through my mind at the moment, that I don't see to be able to find where to start. And here I thought I had nothing to post about today.
Let's start here:
I myself recall feeling as if the clinical focus on childbirth during prenatal classes, including the detailed descriptions of the placenta and the meconium, took away from the wonder of the process, rather than adding to it.I don't know what is gained by showing the cross-sectional anatomy of a woman's torso to her lover.
I don't quite get what the big effing deal is here. Ok, we all took health in High School.. this should come as no shocker to any male really. And hello.... your little winky does double duty as something you urinate with, and we can get past that just fine now can't we??
It is miraculous to see a baby's head emerge, and it can also be shocking. It is riveting to see an umbilical cord connecting mother and baby, but it can also be very disturbing. It is exciting to be asked by a doctor to cut that umbilical cord, but also potentially very frightening, even for otherwise rather fearless men.And not every man gets over it. Several men have confessed to me that they never regained the same romantic view of their wives that they had before seeing them deliver children.
Ok, I can see this point. My husband didn't cut the cord either time (granted my daughters cord was around her neck), and having never actually seen the head come out, I can entertain the thought that it might just be a little bizare. But so much so that you can't do the horizontal mamba with your woman after the fact?
Sex, as it is, (not love making, don't get me started on the differences) is one of humankind's most primal urges. I would think that you could just "do it".. to be crude, and work your way through the wacko issues you have going on after.
A woman's body was ment to bear children. And to feed those same children. Men have turned these basic bodyparts into objects of sexual pleasure (and don't get me wrong, I'm all about pleasure).. and then they kibby when a woman uses her body as it was intended. My friend commented about his wife breastfeeding their son, and how her body was "his, and just ick"... what's so gross about that?! She's doing the most beautiful thing she can with her body, feeding her child the way that nature intended. I know a lot of men who are totally turned on by that.
And then there is this seemingly "weird" sector that can't get past the mechanics of it, and turn away from their women for giving them the greatest gift.. a child, and being traumatized over it.
Grow a pair and get over it already.