Friday, December 15, 2006

Have Yourself.... Some Eyecandy

Dear Family,
I apologize for my behavior lately. I'm sure you have all but had enough of me, and I can't say that I blame you. If I have been short with you, or snappy.. probably you didn't deserve it. Unless you were driving me nutty and I had asked you umpteen million times to stop.. and then you probably did. Come to think of it, maybe the problem isn't with me, maybe it's you.

If it helps you to know, I feel just as miserable as I am acting. I'm exhausted, physically and mentally. Truth be told.. I feel empty. At the end of the day I just have nothing more left to give. And then I come home to you all.. and that isn't fair to any of us. You deserve more, it's just that right now I'm barely holding on and I have no more left. Most weeks I can make it to Friday before I run out of nice, and then a nice long sleep recharges me... but this week I had used up all my nice by mid-morning yesterday.

I apologize for our incident this morning before school... but seriously.. at your ages I shouldn't have to help you get dressed. If your shirt doesn't meet up with with the top of your pants, it's too short and you shouldn't be wearing it anymore. If you changed your outfit and somehow ended up with socks on under a pair of tights.. your friends will laugh at you. All. Day. Long. I am just sparing you some grief later on. And for the love of God, if you are nagging me about playing the computer before we've even walked out the door, don't figure that after listening to you nag me all week when you know there's no video games on school nights... I'm going to be pleasant about it. Again, maybe the issue isn't with me, but with you.

I realize that Christmas is almost here, and then vacations and perhaps someones birthday and all the joy and festivities that come along with it. You are excited. I get that. No one is more happy about vacation coming than I am. Take my word for this. But try and understand that my patience is shot. Rise to the occasion. When I ask you to stop tormenting your sister, stop. On the first asking. If I ask you to put your laundry away, do it. Don't let me find it thrown into your bean-bag, or tossed all over your bed. If it's your job to feed that cat every single morning before school.. do it. Don't make me have to nag you EVERY. SINGLE.DAY. This does not make me happy. Bring your coat home from school. Why is this so hard? Work with me here. I'm doing the best I possibly can. I know you can do better. That would be the best gift you could give me this year.

Love, mom


Gaylen said...

I totally hear you. I thought my kids were so past that stage - but let me just say that I still have to ask my 22YO who lives at home to vacuum at least 3 times before she does a really bad job of it!

Hope you feel better soon. I don't the background of the job situation, but I truly hope the holiday vacation brings you some peace.

Awesome Abby said...

Here is my "fix" for you. Dunno how you feel about this, BUT...when my kids got into the habit of my having to ask them 12,478 times, I got out BIG SPANKY. If I had to aks more than ONCE...BIG SPANKY did the asking. BIG SPANKY didn't have to ask too many times. :) Maybe I should mail you a Christmas present!!!!! :) :) :)

Awesome Abby said...

Lookie! Blogger let me post! Joyous day!

Lissa Ballard said...

Oh Beth - I truly know how you feel. At 20 and 17 there are times I still have to nag. When I get called a nag for nagging them, it chills me to the bone and I'm mean - pure unadulterated mean. I know I'm mean. I swear there are times my head is going to do a 360 and I'm gonna spew green pea soup on EVERYTHING because I CAN!

God bless you and keep the faith. You're nearly half way through now sugar. Start a paper clip chain like Abby did. You'll see the light sooner than you think. In the meantime - I've got you lifted up in prayer for a whole lot of reasons.