Monday, January 08, 2007

Now I'm Just Rolling Home

I set out on a narrow way, many years ago
Hoping I would find true love, along the broken road

So I walk after school. I think we've discussed this in previous blog entries. In the warmer weather, the Boy joins me and we walk after dinner. I walk year round unless it's icy/raining hard.. or so cold we don't let the kids out at school (15 degrees or below). I average 2.25 miles a day between this walk, my lunch walk and going to and from work. I tried the treadmill thing, and quite frankly I didn't enjoy it. I'd rather be outside. Besides, it motivates me more. If I'm walking outside, I have to get home. If I get bored on the treadmill, I can just get off.

But I got lost a time or two
Wiped my brow and kept pushing through

My walk takes me down my street, out by the playground at school, on the other side of our neighborhood... down around the mill and up, past the library, the town pond, around the common and home. Sometimes I kick it up a notch and as I pass the mill I head up a road by some friends houses, and around a different way. It's very enjoyable, it's only 1.25 miles and it only takes about 20 minutes.

I couldn't see how every sign, pointed straight to you
Every long lost dream lead me to where you are

Mostly there is no traffic, and I have the road to myself. Sometimes people I know drive by and wave. Sometimes kids are out on their bikes/skateboards/feet/fill in thing here.. and they wave also. Sometimes I stop and chat with them, but not always. Some days I have my hat, every day I have my 2/$1.00 knit gloves, and when I walk alone I have my iPod. I always sing. Softly to myself, or on rare occasion out loud. But the best part of my walk, is the walk itself.

Others who broke my heart, they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way, into your loving arms

The reason I walk at the end of the day (I walk at lunch too, but only a half mile loop around the block that I can do in 8 mins if there's no ice/slush) is for stress release. Each step I take pounds away the stress of the day. With each song I sing, the tension flows out of my body. Every breath that moves in and out of my body pulls away all the negativity and anxiety that threatens to eat at my soul. I don't walk for my health, or to lose weight or stay in shape. I walk to keep myself sane, and happy. I walk so I can come home and be a good mom to my kids.

This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That lead me straight to you

When I walk back in that door I am in a better place. I can answer questions about Math and archery and can I do this, and that and blah blah blah. I can be the person I was when I walked out the door in the morning. The person who rarely returns at the end of the day. The person who is fighting so hard to get through this hard year. Today was our 80th day of school. 101 left to go. I walk so that I can get to that 181st day, and be able to recognize myself in the mirror. I walk for me.

1 comment:

Gaylen said...

Great Post! I love how insightful you are. Hope 2007 is a better year for you - keep walking toward day 181!