Dear Co-Workers Who Can't Mind Their Own Damn Business,
In case you haven't realized yet, I'm having a rather crappy arse year. I don't know this could have escaped your attention. Perhaps you've been hiding out somewhere correcting papers or gossiping with the rest of the staff. Or maybe you've just been to busy minding everyone else's business.. and now you are just getting to me. I'm doing the best that I can to get through every minute.. forget every day... and come out intact at the end. I'm giving 130% every day. Every. Waking. Second. And each day that goes by is just sucking the life right out of me. I realize that in the course of your much easier day, this might be something you can't quite understand. That doesn't give you the right to tell me how to do my job. You don't get to question what I have to do to survive each day. If you think that you can do a better job.. I will gladly trade places with you. For one day. Hell.. I will give you one hour. One hour to walk in my shoes and live through my day. I will work with your students and do your duty and whatever else mundane thing you do during your day. Because it beats the crap out of what I have to do. If you are not willing.. then STFU and let me do my job.
According to The Boy, I apparently watch too much TV. Last Thursday when I got to the end of My Favorite Show on TV... I told him how I thought it was going to end. What I thought was going to happen. And he might have had the balls to laugh at me. Brushed off my theory like it was crazy talk. Yet here we are with 15 minutes left in the hour, and the exact things that I said were going to happen are playing out on my screen. I just want you to know that I had faith in your writing skills the entire time. I know that you don't play by the rules... but I knew deep down it would all work out in the end. The exact words that I said Ellis would utter to Meredith.. came out of her mouth. I don't know who the genius is here.. me or you. Thank you for giving me my favorite show, and doing the right thing.
One Happy Viewer
I realize that I might be a little irrational and out of sorts lately. OK, maybe more than a little. I'm sorry that I've been cranky and short tempered. It's not your faults, and I have horrible catholic guilt for taking it out on you. But you have to do your parts. Don't talk back and give me lip. When I ask you to do something, don't huff or give me excuses. Just say, "Yes mom." And do it. I don't want to hear a million reasons why you can't/don't want to/won't. If you see that I'm stressed out or grouchy.. go away and let me be. Don't linger around egging me on. That's not helping. I have noticed lately however that you're making an attempt to be better. I don't know if dad had a talk with you or what... but I want you to know that I appreciate it. I really do. And I am going to try harder. I am going to be more conscious of what's going on with me.. and try harder to not let it out on you. I will miss you guys this weekend while you are away at Grammies house. Have fun.
Confidential to the Man who Loves Me,
I don't know what I ever did to deserve you, but thank you for always putting up with my crap. Thank you for being the anchor in my storm. I don't know where you find the patience to deal with all this.. all of me... over and over and still be so calm and grounded. I do know that I would sink without you. You make me laugh. You listen to me vent and whine and cry and fall apart.. and then you make it all better without saying a word. A look on your face, a brush of your hand across my cheek, a hug that pulls me together... somehow you always just know what it is I need at any given time. And then you give it. Without question. Without complaint. Without expectations. You aren't my better half.. because that would imply that you were only half.. when in fact you are so much more. Without you I would be nothing. I love you.