There is something so rewarding about flipping over the page of a calendar. No matter what kind of craziness awaits you in the new month, or how many days have appointments scrawled on them, or how many meetings have been scheduled, the new month brings with it hope and possibility. The chance to leave all the junk of the old month behind, and start over. If there ever was a month that needed leaving behind, it was last month. The best thing that came out of September, happened at 2:09am yesterday, when my beautiful sister-in-law Holly gave birth to my newest little niece, who is the 3rd cutest baby that has ever existed since my two graced this earth. Saving that, September can pack itself up and take a long walk off of a short pier, never to be seen again.
When your life feels like it is falling apart around you, and you are only getting 4 or 5 hours of sleep a night, everything kind of goes to hell along with it. The one thing that I was able to keep together during September, was my household chores. I attributed that to the fact that I was wide awake at 3am, with little else to do. Sometimes I would read. Sometimes I surfed the internet. Sometimes I cleaned. I thought about knitting, or working on a blanket for my niece who was due in early October, but I felt like if you could channel love and prayers into prayer shawls for people, it probably worked in reverse, and I didn't want all that negative energy going into anything that I was crafting. I didn't have the energy to run, although I knew that if I could manage it, I would feel a thousand times better being able to pound out all that stress on the pavement. Because I was waking up at 2 or 3am, my morning routine fell apart. Because I was exhausted by the time I got home from school, afternoons were difficult.
They used to say it takes 20 days to get into a new habit. I recently read that it's more like 60-70 for a good habit, 20 for a bad one. I'm inclined to believe that, because it's so easy to get into a bad routine, and it takes a little more work to get into a good one. I realized today, that I've fallen into a bit of a rut, all the way around, and it's time to break out of it. Get back into the swing of things, and get myself back on the right track again. I'd like to head into the winter with a strong system already in place so I can face those doldrums head on. Change is in the wind, and I'm hopeful that it's all for the better.