Friday, October 19, 2012

Finding My Way Back.. Crankypants

I came home from school today cranky. I don't know why exactly, because it wasn't terrible overall. It started out with me getting up late. I went to bed way past my bedtime last night. That might have been the first thing that went wrong. I was up baking for a school birthday celebration today, and I had to wait for my goodies to cool enough for me to cut them into squares and put them on some kind of plate so that I could wrap them up. (note to self, buy a plate that you can use for school that you don't care if it gets contaminated in the staff room) When I say way past my bed time, I mean it was an hour and a half past my bedtime and when that alarm went off this morning at 5am, and it was cold, dark and raining and my eyelids felt like they had bricks attached to them, there was no way I was dragging myself out of bed. I slept until his alarm went off at 5:30, and woke up again at 5:50. I still had to make one more item for our celebration, on top of my usual morning stuff, shower and get to work early to help set up. Oh, and did I mention it was raining?

I got through the morning with no issues really, and my wonderful husband went into work late so that he could drive me and all the stuff I had to lug down the road to work without having to get wet. The day went well, overall, and aside from a headache that started sometime during the day, and grew as the day went on, I really can't complain too much about it. But for some reason, when I walked through the door into my house, I was in the foulest mood. I don't know if it was the dark dreary day, the crankiness of the kids at school just finally getting to me, or a combination of the sum of the parts finally making a whole, but oh boy. I was in a state. I put my wet things down on the stool. I took of my coat and hung it out on the porch to dry. I had a snack, thinking maybe I was hungry. That didn't help. I logged onto Facebook to see if I could find a photo of my new niece, as that usually cheers me up. Nothing. I scrapbooked a bit, with some Christian music on Pandora to see if if I could life my mood (I'm working on our trip to Disney). Our internet connection was being choppy and my music was broken and it did nothing but send my mood further south. On top of that, I realized a bit later that I never soaked the quinoa so that I could make my g.f. pizza crust to have with tonight's dinner (it needs 8 hours to soak).

So when he walked through the door, and into my craft room, and asked how my day was, I said, "It was long and frustrating." He had to take Ms. Thang back to Keene to drop off apple-crisp she had to bake for Pumpkin Fest tomorrow (they prepped it elsewhere or I never would've agreed), and I did a bit more scrapbooking and worked on teh dinner list. When he returned again, he came up behind me and I leaned into him and got the longest hug. In that span of time, I felt all the crankiness of my day just melt right off. Sometimes, I think we just get touch deprived. Not enough physical contact can make a person grouchy, and I know this is true of myself, as I have felt it in the times when we are not getting along very well and spend a lot of time not really interacting with each other. I also see it in the kids at school who I know aren't getting a lot of attention from their parents. They act out and we have a lot of behavior problems with them. Those are the kids I just want to give big bear hugs to every day, because you know they are just crying out for some attention, no matter how they have to get it. It reminded me of that game, The SIMS, where the people walk around with those meter things above there heads, and when they are low on whatever need that isn't being met, the meter thing turns red, and it's up to the player to make sure it gets met. It sure would be handy if people had some way of gauging when each others needs weren't being met. How hard is it for my husband to know that my "physical contact" needs aren't being met, and I need a hug, if I don't even know it myself?

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