Thursday, April 20, 2006

"Rest is not idleness, and to lie sometimes on the grass under trees on a summer's day, listening to the murmur of the water, or watching the clouds float across the sky, is by no means a waste of time." ~J. Lubbock

Tomorrow is our last day of school before spring break. It really can't get here soon enough. I don't know if we have bad karma, or negative energy, or perhaps it's just that the whole damn place has gone insane... but the tension in our school building is so thick right now you could cut it with a knife. I had to retreat to the third floor yesterday afternoon after I'd met with my last group of students, to pow-wow with my friend, because I couldn't take the tension and grouchiness that was going on all around me.

Tuesday, while I was on my field trip, someone in our building up and quit. Turned in their badge, and their time sheet, and went home. This person was new to our building, just in the past few months, and was, IMO, having a hard time adjusting to a new town, a new state, a new job etc. The ugly part of it, is that she threw out some nasty accusations about other people that I have worked with for a long time. This situation makes me sad.

What makes me sadder, is that someone else I work with, and drum with, and hold dear to my heart as sort of an adopted mother (she has kids my age).. left before our field trip (she was supposed to be coming too) and went home sick.. but what is make her sick is stress. She threw up her hands, said she couldn't take it anymore, and left. And didn't intend to come back for the rest of the year. But I didn't know this then. She is working with a long term sub who is probably in over his head, and is depending on her far too much.

I heard yesterday afternoon that she wasn't coming back for the rest of the year, and I just felt sick. She told me that she was going to ask to not work in that room next year, the thing is the boss man likes to stick her where she asks not to go. I told her that I would trade jobs with her. I would go and work in that room if it meant that she would be able to come out. I would do that for her, because she took me under her wing when I first got my job, and made me feel like one of the team right off the bat. She showed me the ropes and has answered every question I have ever asked her. She drums with me on Wednesday nights, and just having her not be there today was hard for me. I miss her.

I ran into her last night, and after I gave her a huge hug I got the scoop on what the heck was going on. She is taking a LOA until after vacation. Then she is going to the doctors, and then she is meeting with our boss. And she told me that she is going to tell him, either he lets her work somewhere else, or she's not going to come back. I can't have that. Sometimes you have to do the hard thing, because it's the right thing to do. I feel like this year is a test. I am being tested for some reason I don't quite understand. We have 36 kids that we service in special ed this year. Between the two of us, we can barely juggle seeing 20 of them every day.. mostly for reading, and some for math. I told her, that I would not stand by and let her go, and that if I have to, I will step in and work in her room for the rest of the year if it means she will be able to stay. I went into that room for one hour this year to do a project with that class for the curriculum fair, and I left with a headache bordering on migraine status. The idea of spending the next 8 weeks in there is almost more than I can think about. The big man was told of my offer today, and I haven't heard anything from him, but he said he's grateful to have that as an option.

So for now, I will continue along the best I can. Do my job the best way I know how. Pray for my friend as she rests and hope that she feels better soon, and we'll see what happens. We have 37 and a half more days of school until summer break. Not that anyone is counting.


Awesome Abby said...

Sending up many prayers, friend.

KathyMarie said...

You have been through the wringer lately. Calming wishes to you. And also wine, if you drink wine. I hope things get better for everyone there very soon.

Kim - ScrapToMyLu said...

sounds like your school needs a new boss man! Good luck.