Tuesday, January 03, 2006
"We spend January 1 walking through our lives, room by room, drawing up a list of work to be done, cracks to be patched. Maybe this year, to balance the list, we ought to walk through the rooms of our lives...not looking for flaws, but potential." ~ Ellen Goodman
In the early hours of the morning, after a fresh snow had fallen, I sat and thought about what I wanted from this next year. The house was quiet. The kids still asleep, the boy headed off to navigate snowy roads on his way to work.
I thought about what goals I'd like to achieve, and what habits I'd like to work on, and where I wanted to be at the end of the year. And after all this was done churning around in my mind, I decided to crumple it up and toss it out.
I had a kind of "ah-hah" moment. Perhaps it was not enough coffee. Or giddiness brought on by a two hour delay on our first day back to school after Christmas break. But as I sat and thought I realized that all these things that we resolve, and all these plans we make, just go about to bring us guilt and unhappiness when life gets in the way and we don't achieve them. Who needs that kind of stress? Not I.
So I've resolved to enjoy this next year. Go with the flow and see where the current takes me. If I decided that there are things about my self I want to work on, I will do so on my own terms. And if they work out, great. And if not, well there's no harm in trying and maybe I'll do better next time. I read a quote on another blog the other day. Start as you mean to go.
If this next year is a reflection of the last two days, it's going to be one heck of a ride.