Tuesday, January 03, 2006

Would You Like Fries With That?!?

Back when I was a teenager, what seems like a million years ago, we had a little catchy phrase that we used. Now I can't seem to remember if it was my family that used it, or my group of friends, or if it was commonly used. I don't remember if it came from a movie, but we all used it nonetheless. It was a comment made in reference to the fact that no matter how slowly you repeated your order at the drive-thru, they always manged somehow to screw it up. Or, at least that was how it always worked with me. So we always kidded, "They f'ck you at the drive-thru." It came in quite handy during those years for a variety of different things. When you felt like the universe was screwing with you, out it came. When you went through the drive-thru and your order came back to you wrong, it came out.

Tonight, I said it out-loud for the first time in probably 10 years. I haven't even given it a thought in a decade, yet in my red haze of fury, there it was. The boy, who was privy to those earlier outbursts all those years ago, actually stopped and said,"What did you just say?" It was like some tiny jem of a catch phrase that my subconscious was saving for a time where nothing else I could say would express how crappy of a situation I was dealing with.

See, every year our mortgage company sends us a letter that informs us of how our money was distributed over the year, and the balance in our Escrow Acct. It comes the same time, and generally due to the year and taxes etc, our payment either goes up a little or down a little. Last year it actually stayed the same.

Well, this year our town did a reassessment of 70% of the properties. First one since the 70's. And of course, my house was assessed, and the value of it doubled. Great I thought. It's actually worth more, but I'm willing to pay a bit less taxes. According to the powers that run the town, the tax rate was going to go down because the tax base would be higher. Well, they were right. However, because my house doubled in value, my taxes went up. Roughly $900 for the year. Think on that a minute. $900 is a lot of money. So my mortgage company was writing to inform us that due to this and the amount of money we are required to keep in escrow etc. etc. blah blah blah, our mortgage payment was going to increase $212 a month over the next year.

I actually saw red. I worried for a brief moment that I had ruptured something in my brain and it was blood..but I was spitting mad. Add that to an already cranky PMS state and I can tell you I felt ugly. Not one of my finest moments let me tell you. $212 over 12 months is about $2500. If I had an extra $2500 a year I can tell you that paying my damn taxes isn't how I would choose to spend it. Not when we are looking at all kinds of cuts at school because apparently "there isn't enough money for next year." Well, the bulk of my tax money goes to the school district, so I have a hard time swallowing all that. I felt steam releasing out of my ears. I stomped, I stormed, I cleaned a little harder. And in the middle of the room where no one was around to hear (except apparently the boy who was quietly cooking dinner), I blurted out, "They f'ck you at the drive-thru."

Would You Like Fries With That?

3 comments:

Anna said...

Here's the quote from Lethal Weapon 2- [After receiving the wrong order at the drive-thru]
Leo Getz: They FUCK YOU at the drive-thru, okay? They FUCK YOU at the drive-thru! They know you're gonna be miles away before you find out you got fucked! They know you're not gonna turn around and go back, they don't care. So who gets fucked? Ol' Leo Getz! Okay, sure! I don't give a fuck! I'm not eating this tuna, okay?

OneScrappyChick said...

hahaha,thanks. I had a feeling it was from a movie, but couldn't remember what.

Torreh said...

Beth, you absolutely kill me. I've been thinking about your post and chuckling to myself all day.