Dear Weather Dudes,
I read the 10 day forecast at Weather.com, and I see that it will be in the low 80's this weekend. IT'S ABOUT DAMN TIME! What kind of spring is this?? I am tired of being cold. I am tired of the rain. I don't mean to be whiney, but I want to go out and enjoy my yard. I want to swing on my swing, and hang out my laundry. I want to sit on my porch and knit and watch the birds play in the yard. I want to put my screen down and take out my warm weather clothes. I shouldn't be wearing wool sweaters in May. Whatever happened to global warming? By the time the warm weather gets here, spring will be officially over and summer will have started. So if you wouldn't mind, when the warm gets here next weekend, could you keep it here a while? Maybe just a week or so. Long enough to rejuvenate the soul please. Please?
Dear Ants that took up residence in my windows,
There was nothing enjoyable about discovering you in the midst of my spring cleaning. Are you enjoying my windows?? Does the old lead-laden wood make for a good home? I hope you realize that you are not welcome in my home. However you got it, find yourself a way out. I know that some of you missed the toxins of the spray that was aimed in your direction. I'm OK with that. So long as you relocate somewhere that is not in my window frames. I do apologize for stomping on your friends that scurried out onto the floor. Not so much that I stomped on them, but that you might have witnessed it. Now if you don't mind... you've more than stayed your welcome. Have a nice trip.
I realize that we go through this a few times a year, but I feel that it's time for a refresher. You are driving me CRAZY. I realize that it has rained for eleventeen hundred days. I realize that the school year is almost over. I realize that you have spring fever and being stuck inside all the time is almost more than you can handle. But I have to tell you. The bickering, and whining and horseplay is almost more than *I* can handle. Give me a break here will you? In case you haven't noticed, I'm a little stressed out right now. Between school and all the extracurricular things that are currently going on, I can't figure out if I'm coming or going. You are not helping with this. So please, for the love of Pete, go outside. Get wet. Stay out until it's time for dinner and get all the craziness out of your systems. Then come home and we can have a nice evening together. Don't pester me with 10 million questions that I can't even think about right now. When I tell you I don't know, it's not because I'm stupid. It's because my brain can't comprehend what you are asking me as it is on overload at the moment, and I missed the question. Ask me again in July.
Confidential to the boy who helped me out so much this weekend,
Thank you so much for stepping up to the plate and giving me a hand with the spring cleaning. Cleaning this house of ours from top to bottom is a huge undertaking and I'm glad to not have to go at it alone this year. Those past years when I did it all myself, I don't miss that. I don't miss the workload. I don't even miss the peacefulness of hours spent scrubbing and cleaning. I enjoyed spending the time with you. I appreciate the work that you did. Thanks for tackling all the things that I can't, like ceilings and scrubbing old metal clean and spraying toxins at ants. Thanks for making my load a little lighter, and my long days of cleaning a little shorter. I love you.