Some Things On My Mind

1. If you can't be honest with me.. keep your damn mouth shut. I don't want to hear stupid excuses about how you feel like crap. If you felt so crappy you would be home, not at your sisters house doing what you could to help with her. You can leave her for one afternoon to come to your nephew's last family birthday party. And if you're going to call and give me some lame arse excuse, use your cell, not her phone. I have caller I.D. and it will bust you every time.

2. If you're not going to bother to come, pick up the damn phone and call me. Don't leave me wondering if you are late. Or lost. Or off a ditch somewhere on the side of the road. I know you have a phone. Use it.

Say What?

It's time for another rousing edition of "Google searches that brought you here!" People amuse me to no good end. I love to periodically check my sitemaps, and I haven't in a while. These are the top 5 searches that lead you back here.

1. The Walrus and the Carpanter. Dudes. First off, Carpenter is spelled wrong. This post was done before Blogger got their head out of their arses and fixed the spell check for Firefox users. It doesn't appear that I blogged about the song.. but did blog about "I am a Walrus", and my woes with Carpenter ants on two different occasions. That is quite ok however. I love The Walrus and the Carpenter and quote from it often.

Eye Candy Friday- and a tag

For your viewing pleasure I give you my daughters first sewing project. She got a sewing machine from The Discovery Store for Christmas this year (thought I'd start her out small instead of throwing her on my big scary Singer with all the buttons) and she made a bag. (with a little help from mom). Not too shabby if I do say so myself.

And, It would seem I've been Tagged by Torreh. So, here you go:

A-Available/Single? No, happily married thank you.
B-Best Friend? My oldest and Bestest friend in the whole world is Greg.
C-Cake or Pie? Really, neither.. but if I had to pick one .. I guess cake.
D-Drink of Choice? Water. After that coffee. This year.. beer is high on the list.
E-Essential Item You Use Everyday? Burt's Bees Chapstick.
F-Favorite color? Toss up between green and dark red

It's Good To Be Finished

I started this project on January 26th of this year. I blogged about it here, on January 30th. I Finished this project tonight.. almost 12 months later. I am not proud of that fact. When I first started working on this shawl my MIL was in bad shape. In fact, her health was so poor around this time last year, in January we almost lost her. I worked on that shawl during that hard time, and it turned out to be a much bigger project than I expected. I put it away to work on other things, and would take it out on occasion.. but it was big. And boring. And the yarn sheds and gets caught in my throat.

A Birthday Letter

Dear Son,

I know this may come as a surprise to you, but I was your age once too. I know, I know... you can pick yourself off of the floor now. I'll wait. (cricket. cricket. cricket) OK, where were we. Oh yes. A funny thing happens when you get to be old like I am. It's something I like to call the wisdom of years. What that means is that having lived through an awful lot, I have a wisdom that you don't have yet. I am able to look at a situation, and based on past experiences, know how it's going to turn out in the end and act accordingly.

I was also 12 once. And I see that you look at a situation, and based on your limited life experiences, and jump right in without any thought to the outcome or consequences. If there is one thing I can hope to teach you before you leave for the great bit unknown, it's to stop and think before you act.

After The Storm

Thank you all for your prayers and kind words. It's been a bit of a rough end to this year, and truth be told I'm not sad to see it end. I am hoping for a much calmer 2007. We'll see how it goes. I'm sure that old Father Time is having a good laugh on my behalf.

I finished my breakfast Christmas morning, and turned because across the other room I could see a burst of color out the window, and this lovely cardinal had come to visit the yard. He normally has his lady friend with him, and has for several years now, but this time she was no where to be seen. I'm hoping she just stayed behind or was in a tree close by. He stayed out there for a good 20 minutes, just sitting and watching. Often he turned his head in a manner that suggested he was watching me.. watching him but I'm not sure. And no, that isn't snow on the ground, just the street through the hedges.

They Kick You When You're Down

or.. How Could This Week Possibly Get Any Worse

If you come to my blog for my witty humor and clever writing (HAHA), I apologize for the lack of cheerfulness as of late. If you come here seeking knitting content, then fret not, I am still knitting (I need to do something or I might have to either a. revert back to smoking *and even after almost 6 years the temptation is still there on occasion* or b. start drinking more).. I just have no finished objects to share at the moment. I will have one tomorrow though and I promise I'll share.

You might remember yesterday that I mentioned a bit of dilemma about Christmas Eve. We've had quite a few discussions with various family members and had decided after all that it would be good for everyone for the family to gather tomorrow and the kids to be there, and for us to try and have a bit of "normal."

The Week That Kicked My Arse

Eye Candy Friday is supposed to be about showcasing fabulous photos. However, I'm not feeling fabulous nor festive. So I looked through recent photos that I've taken and not shared, and found this. I took this photo on Uncle Christmas. My brother gave The Boy this bottle of Scotch for Christmas this year. To the best of my knowledge, neither my brother nor The Boy drink Scotch, which just made it hysterically funny. And, it made for a nice photo, IMHO.

Today was the last day of school before winter break. Those of you who have been following my blog realize that this has been an extremely difficult year for me. There have been days when I didn't think I'd make it through to today. Days that have been so filled with anxiety and stress that my head seems to be in a constant state of "headachey". Days where the student I am working with has been so unsafe I've had to worry not only about my own safety but the safety of others and let me tell you that makes for a long hard day. Due to all this we've shortened his day by an hour and 45 minutes and if we have to, we'll suspend him completely. To say that I've been under a lot of stress would be the understatement of the year.

Blest Are You Who Weep and Mourn....

In the hours between last night and early this morning, before we could get a chance to know and love him, my nephew went back to be with God. He was due to arrive at 1:00pm this afternoon..and we were so excited. His mom had experienced some separation of the placenta from the uterus and they wanted to deliver him early just to be safe.

Sometime late last night, or early this morning, a piece of the placenta or uterus dislodged and wrapped itself around the umbilical cord, cutting off the oxygen supply to the baby and he passed away. When her water broke at 6am this morning we simply figured that this was the day no matter what. Nothing could have prepared any of us for what happened next.

Little Maxwell Christopher was delivered via Cesarean this morning weighing 10 pounds even. He is an impressive 22" long and has a head full of black hair. My own little family was not able to get out to the hospital today to see him, unlike the rest of the family, and for this I will be forever sad. They said their final goodbye's tonight at 6:00 and then took him away from his grieving parents. Our hearts are heavy and sad.. and the world was a little darker today.

So. Damn. Tired

When you try your best, but you don't succeed

When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home,
And ignite your bones,
And I will try to fix you,

Crazy is as Crazy does...

It's been a bit of a crazy weekend. In a weird sort of way, the weekend seems to be the harbinger of the week ahead. The last week before vacation is always a bit nutty. And the kids know their time is short, and it only adds to the craziness. On top of school craziness... we have family craziness. My favorite sister-in-law got engaged to a wonderful man last night and I couldn't be more happy for her. And on Wednesday another one of my sister-in-laws will give birth to my first nephew. Welcome to the holiday season.

Have Yourself.... Some Eyecandy

Dear Family,
I apologize for my behavior lately. I'm sure you have all but had enough of me, and I can't say that I blame you. If I have been short with you, or snappy.. probably you didn't deserve it. Unless you were driving me nutty and I had asked you umpteen million times to stop.. and then you probably did. Come to think of it, maybe the problem isn't with me, maybe it's you.

If it helps you to know, I feel just as miserable as I am acting. I'm exhausted, physically and mentally. Truth be told.. I feel empty. At the end of the day I just have nothing more left to give. And then I come home to you all.. and that isn't fair to any of us. You deserve more, it's just that right now I'm barely holding on and I have no more left. Most weeks I can make it to Friday before I run out of nice, and then a nice long sleep recharges me... but this week I had used up all my nice by mid-morning yesterday.

In Which We Find.. Last Minute Gifts

Ok, so we all know by now that I am finished my holiday shopping. I have a few stocking stuffers to pick up, and that is it. But in my quest tonight for some cheap (read free) distressing (read I had a really ass-crappy day/week/couple of months) I have found some funny stuff on the internet. People, have a drink (coffee, booze, your choice) and enjoy!

First we have this gem. Who doesn't love the old lady who swallowed a fly. Now your kids can have their very own version. I'm a little curious to know if you can actually stuff those animals into her mouth.. but not curious enough to buy one for myself. If anyone else feels so inclined... drop me a line and let me know.

A Few of My Favorite Things...

My parents got married in June of a long time ago. When their first Christmas rolled around, my mom and my aunt went to some department store, and went nuts buying all kinds of ornaments for the tree. There was a definite gold theme (think gold and metal.. tacky).. and as more ornaments were purchased later on, my mom made sure they would work with the gold.

I don't know when exactly she purchased these glass balls.. but I never knew a tree without them. I always thought they were by far the prettiest ornaments on the tree. There used to be a whole lot more, but over the years they fell off the tree and were broken. When my parents got divorced, mom asked if there was anything I wanted. My list was quite short. My Nana's trunk, the old family photos, and these ornaments.

A Book A Day....

Some years ago I read about a woman who had acquired Christmas books, and each night during December her family would read one together.

Not being one to pass by shameless stealing of others great ideas.. I adopted this tradition with our family. I keep the books in a basket that normally holds unread magazines, and each night we take turns reading a book until Christmas Eve. On Christmas Eve The Boy reads "The Night Before Christmas" and so ends our month of stories.

Uncle Christmas-06

"May the new year be blessed
With good tidings
til the next time I see you again
If we must say goodbye
Let the spirit go with you
til the season comes round again

One night holy and bright
Shining with love from our hearts
By a warm fire,
Lets lift our heads high
And be thankful we're here
til this time next year"
~various artists

Snowy Eye Candy

" Christmas waves a magic wand over this world, and behold, everything is softer and more beautiful." ~Norman Vincent Peale

In Which We Find a Few Mental Health Days

I have ten more school days until winter vacation. That's two hands worth people. You math savvy types might be thinking I have 11 days.. but that is not the case. See, sometimes people who live in your household go and get themselves hurt real bad, and you have to stay home and take care of them. Sometimes, the gods smile down on you when you are having a really crappy year, and let you have a few surprise days off.. especially when things are the crappiest.

Mr. Man went to the Dr. today and had some x-rays. Looks like nothing is broken, but their might be a fracture (small).. and it might just be a first degree sprain. Or who the heck knows. I wasn't given a definite answer. But he got an aircast and asked if he could stay home tomorrow (his class is on the 3rd floor).. and who am I to begrudge him of some healing time? I might have done a little dance in my kitchen this morning when I was baking.. but shhhhh. Don't tell.

Random Wednesday

Dear Mother Nature,
I don't know what kind of sick joke you have going on over there, but knock it off already! First we had 60 degree weather in November. Now we have bitter cold temps coming. In case you didn't notice, Christmas is in 19 more days. Where is the snow? How 'bout 3 inches of the stuff.. just to pretty up the place? Just enough for maybe a delay at school.. I hate being in school during late June. But if you're going to travel down that road, bring it on! A nice all day long storm. I love a good snow day.
Respectfully yours,
B

Happy Holidays Mom

For several years after my parents separated my mom didn't have a Christmas tree at the holidays. She said she had no room, she had no need.. she could come over and enjoy ours.. etc. etc. etc. What it came down to, was it was too hard. Christmas was a big deal in our family. Mom was the host of the big family shin-dig, and went all out. The house was decorated to the hilt, the food was delicious and she was the star of the show.

It made me sad that mom didn't feel like she could have Christmas back in her life. No decorations for her apartments either. Even my kids noticed. Then one year, out of the blue she announced that she bought a tree. And decorations for the place. And lights and ornaments and the "cutest darn angel ever." I was so proud of her. She took Christmas back. If you click on the photo you can see angels I made for her brand new "just me tree".

If You Can't Stand the Heat....

Next weekend, my 4 brothers (all younger), their significant others and my dad will all descend upon my house for holiday festivities and merriment. My step-mother isn't well and can't travel this year so dad will come without her and fly back down to FL soon after. We'll miss her this year. This is our fifth year hosting what my children have fondly dubbed "Uncle Christmas." It actually stems from another old family tradition. See, when we were younger, my mother decided after a few years that she wasn't dragging her small children off to relatives and away from their new toys. We hosted Christmas dinner at our house until the year my parents decided to divorce. On Christmas Eve, we would go to church, and then come home for Chinese food and open our gifts. (this was once we were much older.. think I was out of HS by then).

One of my favorite holiday songs...

Sweet Little Jesus Boy~ Kenny Rogers

Sweet little Jesus boy
They made You be born in a
manger
Sweet little Holy child
They didn't know who You were.

Didn't know You'd come to
save us Lord
To take our sins away
Our eyes were blind
And we could not see
We didn't know who You were.

In Which We Find.... some Eye Candy

Each December, as a gift to you, my faithful readers (all 5 of you)... I make a conscious effort to not only blog every day but to share an image of the season. This year we have 3 full school weeks between now and Christmas, and if this week was any indication of how the rest will be, it might be a little trickier but I am going to try my darnedest.

It's hard to be festive and feel in the Christmas spirit when it's 60+ degrees out. In New Hampshire. Not only is it bizarre, it's unheard of. A few days of Indian summer aren't out of the ordinary.. but not a whole month. I'm sure my heating bill at the end of the winter will be thankful, as am I (not a fan of the cold).. but when you go from 60 degrees today, to 40 tomorrow and 20 on Monday.. that's a bit of a shock to the system. Your body needs time to acclimate to the cold. We didn't get that this year. The weather guru on the radio says they think we'll have lower than average snow fall this year, but more ice-type storms due to El-Nino. Not a fan of the El-Nino.

Busy.. Busy....

You Are a Traditional Christmas Tree

For a good Christmas, you don't have to re-invent the wheel. You already have traditions, foods, and special things you bring out every year.

What Christmas Tree Are You?

In Which We Find Eighteen....

Eighteen is how many school days we have left before our winter break. Eighteen is also how many Advil I will probably take before this week is over. I definitely don't have 18 nerves left.. more like maybe 3. Or perhaps negative three. I'm not sure. Today was a pretty crappy day and I'm just waiting on the boy to unload his work stuff and then I'm having a beer. On a Tuesday. Before 5pm. Ya'll, I know what you're thinking.. but I need the beer.

I am almost done with my shopping. We will finish up this weekend. I am almost caught up on having all my bought things wrapped. I haven't baked. My house is clean but the kitchen (well.. deep cleaned). The decorating is almost done (now that the roof is done I can finish the porch.) And tonight I have a meeting. Off for that beer.

That's the view yesterday morning across the street as the sun came up. That's why I get up each day.

Putting Fall to Rest

The days following Thanksgiving are usually a little hectic at my house. We take down all the fall decor.. drag all the Christmas stuff down from storage and Deck the Halls. This event usually starts in the wee hours of the morning, due to some "must get up at the arse crack of dawn and buy" item. This year however, there was no such item to be bought. And so we did something unheard of. We slept in.

As much as I am a fan of sleeping, I'm not such a fan of sleeping in. I feel like so much of the morning is wasted if you get up "late".

I'm Thankful...

I'm thankful that I have a warm, comfortable house, and a roof over my head. I am thankful that I have the ability to have the last of the non-slate leaky parts replaced with non-leaking roof material. I hope my roof guy had a wonderful day today with his daughter and partner. Some people not too far away from here have lost their homes due to a horrible explosion. They are in my thoughts and prayers this year.

In Which We Find Thanksgiving....

To my Thanksgiving Guests,

Martha Stewart will not be dining with us this Thanksgiving. I'm
telling you in advance, so don't act surprised. Since Ms. Stewart won't
be coming, I've made a few small changes:

Our sidewalk will not be lined with homemade, paper bag luminaries.
After a trial run, it was decided that no matter how cleverly done,
rows of flaming lunch sacks do not have the desired welcoming effect.

The dining table will not be covered with expensive linens, fancy
china or crystal goblets. If possible, we will use dishes that match
and everyone will get a fork. Since this IS Thanksgiving, we will
refrain from using the plastic Peter Rabbit plate and the Santa
napkins from last Christmas.

Bah Humbug

Ya'll.. I really didn't think I was going to make it. I had the number of days to focus on.. I had the countdown... the clips... the whole kit and caboodle.. and despite it all... I thought today would never come. These past 56 school days have been the longest in my carer. I'm not at liberty to discuss the whys and whathaveyou's... but lets just say that I'm already counting the days until Christmas break. (20 school days in case you are wondering). This year is kicking my arse. We knew it was going to be hard.. but no one expected things to be this hard. I hate to admit this out loud, but I've had days that were so awful.. I've come home and had to cry in the quiet of my own room. I walk that delicate balance back and forth across the edge every day, and some days I feel like I'm going to fall over and never make it back.

In Which We Find a Few Thoughts on Things...

Some Things I learned this week, in no particular order of importance:

1. Resolve Carpet Cleaner rocks! People.. a month or more ago I was away from my house. I can't for the life of me remember why I was away. Errands perhaps. A drumming gig perhaps. I might've been abducted by aliens. I really can't say. Anyhow, The Boy was home with the kids. Alone. Unsupervised. He's pretty responsible these days. They are too.. mostly. While I was gone there was an incident involving orange juice being sprayed in some sort of a semi-circle around the chair in my family room. They claim that Ms. Thang was drinking the juice next to the chair in the kitchen and somehow the cup propelled out of her hand (I'm not making this up) and sprayed OJ all over the rug. Now I have several issues with this story. 1. She shouldn't have been standing behind the chair drinking. 2. How does OJ spray out of a cup in a complete semi-circle around a chair, end table and contents in a drop-like pattern? 3. No one told me the extent of the damage. I came home, and inquired why the candle was on the counter. "Mumble, Mumble, OJ, Mumble, Cleaned Up, Mumble." Umm.. ok. FFWD a week later. Know what happens when sticky OJ gets on your rug and isn't cleaned up? Dirt sticks to it. I noticed a half ring of dots surrounding my chair area. (the other half of the circle is the kitchen floor). I inquired something to the extent of "What the hell is on the floor?" and was told it was more than likely from the juice incident. Which would seem to have been bigger than previously thought. I tried the Little Green Machine. Nothing. I was devastated. I hated the unsightly ring of dots on the rug. My eyes went there every time I walked into the room. We only have rugs in 3 rooms in our big old house, and while I don't like them, they're what we have right now and I don't want them horrible looking. FFWD to today. My dearest friend from work told me to get Resolve Carpet Cleaner. Told me it took EVERYTHING OUT, and it would certainly work on that mess on the rug. So I bought some today. In a spray bottle. Spray it on, wait 5 minutes, scrub with a stiff brush (this was my method, your mileage may vary). I left this afternoon for a drumming gig, and when I got back.. I thought tears of joy might leak out of my eyes. My rug... it's all better.

P is for... Pie

You Are Mud Pie

You're the perfect combo of flavor and depth Those who like you give into their impulses

What Kind of Pie Are You?

Thanksgiving is When?!?!

Ya'll... Thanksgiving is next week (NEXT.WEEK!)... how come no one told me?!?!?! How can Thanksgiving be next week. It was just October. We just had Halloween. We still have candy at my house. I'm not ready for Thanksgiving. And to make matters worse, Christmas is in 6 weeks, and in less than 3 weeks we will celebrate "Uncle Christmas." (my kids gave this name to the day my brothers/their sig. others and my dad come to celebrate Christmas. Due to step-mom's health issues we are celebrating early this year). Umm.. so.not.ready.

Sunday Letters and What Have You..

Dear Nephew Who Shall Be Named at A Later Date:
Throughout the many hours I have spent knitting for you... I have sent loving baby vibes your way. You've already shown us that you are fighter.... hang in there through these last 7 weeks. Your mom is excited about your arrival, and may have gotten carried away with her baby registry. That is OK, she's entitled. I thought perhaps you'd like a few more meaningful gifts, and I hope you enjoy them. This little blanket was by far the biggest project I've ever undertaken during my knitting career, and I'm rather happy with how it turned out. I hope it keeps you warm and cozy, and who knows... maybe you'll lug it around when you are older.
smooches,
Lovey

In Which We Find a Day to Remember...

As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them. ~John Fitzgerald Kennedy

Rock the Vote...

It doesn't matter if you are a Democrat or a Republican.. or neither.

It doesn't matter if you are anti-war or gung-ho.

It doesn't matter if you are pro-life or pro-choice.

It doesn't matter if you think alcohol should be sold in convenient stores or if you think it belongs at the Packie.

It doesn't matter if you want an income tax, a sales tax, or think we are already paying too damn much for taxes.

It doesn't matter if you are Black, White, Asian, Indian or other.

It does matter if you stay home. Get out and Vote!!

Saturday... In Wich We Find the End of Soccer

The sky over NH today is rather dark and dreary. Snow has been spitting down at random intervals, and it is cold. 41 degrees at 1pm cold. After a morning of errands, and a rather scary incident when I realized I lost my bank card (left it at the market last week it would seem, and the nice people saved it for me)... I ended up on the soccer field.

Last week we were supposed to end soccer with the championship playoffs, but alas it poured. All. Day. Long. So instead of a mild-ish day, we had a very cold one.

No We're Never Gonna Survive.....

Unless... we get a little... Crazy!

Ya'll. This week, was the mother of all sucky weeks. I don't know if it was the time change, or the sugar highs or the full moon... but... Oh. My. Gawd. I can't begin to tell you how many things about it sucked, so we'll just leave it at that. And thank the gods it's over.

But let's rewind to yesterday. Yesterday was a bad day. The kind of day where at 10:00 am you're thinking about how you could walk home at break and have a quick beer and walk back. The kind of day that you wish would just end but goes on. for. effing. ever. One of those days.

One More Thing

The Boy sent me this. So cool... check it out:

carve your own jack

Ugh.

Thank. God. It's. Over.

Last year we had apx. 190 kids show up at our house. This year I bought extra candy. I ran out apx. 15 mins before the end of Halloween. Fortunately, unlike last year, no one knocked on the door after I shut the light off. Soooooooooo many kids this year. I give candy to anyone who puts forth an effort to dress up, I don't care how old they are. Except if they are smoking when they come up my walk. Standards people. Standards.

I Fell Back

I've never really understood daylight saving. I mean, I get the idea. If we mess with the clocks, then the kiddies don't have to stand outside for the bus in the dark. Instead, they can't go outside and play after school because it gets dark so early. Next year we are moving daylight saving time to November. So where is the sense in that I ask? Wait, that isn't the reason? Something about the farmers? Don't they know that the farmers rise with the sun no matter what the clock says?? Oh.. hmmm. Got it. It's really a government ploy to save money on electricity. Do they tell you that in school? Nope.

Mi Fa Male La Testa

or, Italian for My Head Aches

Ya'll, it's been a long week. And it was busy. And stressful. And quite frankly my dear Scarlet, I'm glad it's over. I'm unhappy to report that the ceiling looks pretty much the same as it did in the picture I posted the other day. As far as I can tell (without major messing around with things) there is no other damage to be found. The tub has developed a leak however (the faucet) that can't be repaired (and lo'.. they no longer make the stupid thing don't you know) and The Boy knows someone who can come in and install the brand new spout/handle/shower head kit that we bought. Always something I tell you. Always something.

Let It Rain Down....

Once my kids reached a certain age, I figured that I could stop worrying about them doing some rather foolish things. Like choking on grapes for example, or setting their bedrooms on fire. I would hear stories my friends told about their kids/grand kids etc. doing silly things and think to myself, "Thank God my kids never did anything dumb like that." I figured wrong.

Last night, I was doing some accounting for The Boy at my desk. I haven't been at my desk lately for much, because it is in the other side of the house from the family room, and having a laptop I am free to compute where I want. But I was on my way out the door to go drum, and figured I'd get the invoice done real quick before I left.

Off To See....

80,000 people can't be wrong... or can they? Each year the city of Keene hosts a fabulous fall festival. It started out as a harvest festival many years ago. It has evolved into a huge Pumpkin Festival that draws people from all over the country. I can't tell you how many state plates I saw on my way to do errands on Saturday. 80,000 people is 4 times the population of Keene. All crowded into the downtown area. There's a reason why we stopped going. Can you guess what it is?

After The Rain....

This week's Saturday Sky submission.. is actually a photo of last night's sky. Yesterday it rained. It rained hard and it rained heavy. We had winds that knocked out power and tree branches for miles and miles around. We were going to attend community night at the Keene Pumpkin Festival.. but Mr. Man was sick and it was raining and well.. the wind was a little scary. Like Wizard of Oz scary. There was a break in the rain however right at sunset. I managed to capture this photo of the sky above our town common. It started a lovely yellow.. and by the time I got the camera, had changed to this lovely purple. 2 mins later it was all gone.

When You Try Your Best...

I went browsing through my archives, looking for a tidbit of information I'm sure is there (but I can't quite find it yet).. and I found this post from early November last year.

Ya'll... I feel like I went through a time warp. I could post the SAME exact thing for today. I wrote this "Work is kicking my arse this year. It's gotten so chaotic and overwhelming, that I can't look past the current day. I can't think about the meeting next week, or a book report my son has coming up, or the project that my daughter is about to embark upon.. because right now I am just trying to get through each day. I am trying, and trying, and no matter how hard I try I can't seem to get up for air. Doing the work of 3 people is a lot on a good day. Doing it day after day after... sucks the very life right out of you."

Few More Letters

Dear Son,
I am sorry that you feel so crummy again. I don't know what type of festering illness is being harbored in your classroom, but thank you for not sharing it with me. I admire you for sticking it out and finishing the day when you felt so lousy. Most kids would've gone to the nurse and headed home. Secretly, I'd like to give you extra ice cream and let you play the computer for as many hours as you want. Because while I feel bad that you don't feel good, I am so in need of a day off from school I could cry. Thank you for the chance to de-stress a bit, take a break from the crazy. Feel better soon.
Mom

Things That Make You Go Hmmmmmmmm.......

You Are a Strawberry Margarita

You're so sweet it's a little overwhelming, and people are a little afraid of corrupting you... It's a little difficult to imagine you with a margarita. And you're truly a different person after you've kicked back a couple!

What Flavor Margarita Are You?

Rainy Days and Mondays....

I received yet another email from my dad today, although I didn't read it until just a few minutes ago. Another one of my great aunt's passed away last night. Unlike last week, where it was my grandmother's sister, this was my grandfather's sister. Out of all my great aunts, Peggy was the the one I knew best. When the email came last week, a little part of my brain that knows they are all very old and mostly in poor health, had a thought that we were getting ready to go through a cycle of death in my family. It saddens me, but I think when you reach a certain age as an adult you accept that the elderly people in your family will not be around forever, and therefore it's easier to accept. What saddens me, is that my grandmother is in poor health also, and we all know it's only a matter of time before we celebrate her life and passing. That will be more difficult, as not only will I have to say goodbye to someone who is so dear to me, this will be the first death my children will have to deal with (that they remember). I am not so prepared for that.

In Which We Find The End of A Weekend

These darlings belong to my brother's SIL and her husband. They made their grand appearance on Tuesday afternoon; she (on the left) came naturally and he (on the right) came half an hour later via Cesarean. Mom is doing great, although I don't envy her having to recover from two birthing methods. They are healthy and big (19 inches, 7-ish pounds each) and have fabulous names but as they aren't my own children I won't be sharing them here.

And as the circle of life continues, one of my great aunt's passed away on Thursday. She had been struggling with her health for a long time, and had also suffered from Alzheimer's, so it is a bit of a blessing. She lived a long full life, and she will be missed. My own grandmother (her sister) is also struggling with Alzheimer's and it is a sad, miserable disease.

And So It Goes...

Little Bit of This... Little Bit of That...

I tell you what.. we may have only worked two days this week.. but this has been THE.LONGEST.DAMN.WEEK. You know you had a bad day, when you get home at 3:45, and chug down a beer before going out to mow the lawn for the last time this year. But that was yesterday, and today was a new day. Bit better than yesterday, but not a whole lot.

School was a mix of highs and lows today. We had a baby shower this morning for a coworker who's been trying for years to get pregnant. To say we are excited for her and her DH would be a gross understatement.

Deep Within...

"where are we?
what the hell is going on?
the dust has only just begun to fall
crop circles in the carpet
sinking, feeling

spin me ’round again
and rub my eyes,
this can’t be happening
when busy streets a mess with people
would stop to hold their heads heavy

hide and seek
trains and sewing machines
all those years
they were here first"

Imogen Heap

The Heat is On....

Who could ask for a more gorgeous Columbus Day weekend? Temperatures in the low 70's today.. and the mid 70's tomorrow. Sunny... just gorgeous. Yet despite the lovely daytime temps.. it is cold, cold, cold at night. And so as the temperature inside my lovely old house has been dropping about 3-4 degrees a day.. it was time to turn on the heat. Just to get the chill out of the air. It's not on in all the house. In some parts of the house it's set much lower than others. The Boy spray painted the heater covers from the kitchen and family rooms today, and so the heat isn't on out here yet.. but it's a start. We weren't one of those people who locked into a price for oil by pre-buying. We work on a budget plan where we pay xx amount a month, and pay whatever the price is on the day of delivery. Hopefully the prices will stay down, or continue to drop. I could use to cut a break.

I Just Can't Seem To Get it Right Today

For your viewing pleasure.... some maple trees in my back yard. (well.. this is really the front of my house.. but that's a complex story) These are not sugar maples like the one further down on the blog.. sugar maples turn orange/red. Regular maples turn this lovely yellow. Has to do with the type of pigments in the tree. I looked out the window this afternoon, and saw this view with the leaves on the ground, and the light just right.. and I had to go out and shoot it. Isn't it lovely? Fall rocks.

End of the Week Letters...

Dear Readers,
My grandmother was an amazing women. She was raised in Italy, and came to America with her mother as a lovely young girl. She married a hard, headstrong Italian man, also from Italy and raised my mother to be a fine young adult. Then tragically her life was cut short. She developed breast cancer and died when my mom was 19. I never had the chance to meet her, but I'm sure we would've gotten along lovely. If she had lived in this day and age, I'm sure that her outcome might have been different. October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. A cause that is near and dear to my heart. Several people that I love have had scares, and the Boy's grandmother also suffered from breast cancer, although that wasn't what caused her death. Do self exams, every month. If you are of the right age, have a mammogram. If you are at an increased risk, push for an early baseline exam. Be informed. Help underprivileged women be tested. If you are able, donate to a good cause. Let's fight this, and win.
Love, B

Meloncholy

"Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls, the most massive characters are seared with scars." Edwin H. Chapin
In as much as I love fall.. October is a hard month for me. It's no secret that I carry a lot of baggage with me. I've tried to be rid of it, but some things stay with you forever. Each year as I enjoy the glow of the season, and the brilliant colors that mother nature sends.. my soul gets a little dark and heavy. I teeter between a deep rooted sadness, and an anger that ever delicately simmers below the surface. Depending on what other things are going on in my life, depends on which mood graces the people I am surrounded with.

In Which We Find a Few Things...

Ya'll. It's been SUCH a LONG week. (groans) Yes, I know. It's only Tuesday. I don't know how that is possible. But the light at the end of the tunnel.. is a 3 day weekend. Oh how I love a 3 day weekend. The only thing that beats a 3 day weekend, is a 4 or 5 day weekend, and we have one of each in November. Yeah for days off.

Been a bit of a hectic week on all fronts. Got some fall cleaning done Sunday. One room down (and it's the 2nd smallest.. sigh).. 12 more to go. I love my house. I hate to clean it top to bottom. Feels good though to have one room "done." Yesterday we had a fire at school. Seems that some groups of people shouldn't be allowed to have toaster ovens.. and umm... our staff is in that group. At least the toaster was in use this time.. but still. The kids all eyerolled when they heard it was a fire in the toaster oven. We've been through this already. I could hear their brains, "OMG, these idiot teachers can't even work a toaster oven?"