Reach For The Stars

December 28: Achieve. What's the thing you most want to achieve next year? How do you imagine you'll feel when you get it? Free? Happy? Complete? Blissful? Write that feeling down. Then brainstorm 10 things you can do, or 10 new thoughts you can think, in order to experience that feeling today. (author: Tara Sophia Mohr)

My word for last year was balance. I have picked a new word for next year, but what I really want most from 2011, is balance. I haven't reached that point yet where I feel like everything in my life is on an even keel. I may  never get there, and I realize that, but I think I can do better. There are definitely areas of my life that need work. I would like to get to the end of the year and not feel like things are crazy and stressful and out of control. I like to imagine that when I get to that point, that I'll feel content. Peaceful. Like things are OK, and everything's how it should be.

An Open Letter To My Son

December 27: ordinary joy

Dear Corey,
For the past several years I have written a blog post about your on your birthday. Some of them were sappy, and some were entertaining (to me anyhow), and then there was that year with the big cake... but none-the-less, each year I have written one. Mostly I write them for myself. A reflection on the past year, or the past however many years you've been alive on this earth, and how I am feeling about all of it. You took me be surprise however, when you announced that you were going to go read your birthday post on my blog, especially as I hadn't written it yet.

Food For The Soul

photo from November: Harvest Dinner

December 26: Soul Food. What did you eat this year that you will never forget? What went into your mouth and touched your soul? (author: Elise Marie Collins)

It wasn't a certain dish, or any one food that touched my soul this year, it was a food event. I have already blogged about this event here, but looking back on 2010, this day, this dinner with my friend and her family, was the food that my soul needed. Typically, except for Uncle Christmas, or a summer cookout, we have one or two people over to dinner at time. Usually, it's my good friend C, or it's C with one of her family members who's visiting. Our summer cookouts always feel a little stressful (could be the time of the year, the people we invite, the weather not cooperating.. who knows), and this  year for Uncle Christmas, all my brothers decided we should order out Chinese, and all I did was some baking. 

A Picture's Worth 1,000 Words

December 25: Photo-a present to yourself. Sift through all the photos of you from the past year. Choose the one that best captures you; either who you are, or who you strive to be. Find the shot that is worth a thousand words. Share the image, who shot it, where, and what it best reveals about yourself. (author: Tracey Clark)

As the family photographer, you find that more often than not, there aren't that many photos of you. Just today, The Boy™ picked up and snapped some pictures of me while I was learning how to use Ms. Thang's new Rip-Stick board in the kitchen. We were having a jovial time, and he said, after taking a picture, there aren't that many pictures of you. Well, you don't say.  I went back through all the pictures of me from this year, of which there are few, including the ones from this morning, and I have to say, this one, taken the day after my new niece was born is my favorite.

The Long And Winding Road..

December 24: Everything's OK. What was the best moment that could serve as proof that everything is going to be alright? How will you incorporate that discovery into the next year? (author: Kate Inglis)

It might have been early in the year, sometime during the winter. I was standing at the front door, looking out towards the nut tree where my bird feeders hang, and watching the birds play in the snow. The Boy™ came up behind me and hugged me and put his chin on my shoulder. As I stood there in the quiet, I remembered back to where we had been a year earlier. How our relationship had been put through the ringer, and somehow, we managed to come out of it in one piece.  Not whole, and certainly in need of some healing, but we had pulled through. As I stood there, I realized that as awful as it had been, and as hurt and miserable as I was during most of late 2008/early-mid 2009, right there with him was where I wanted to stay. Forever. That we could have been where we were, and I could still feel safe, and loved and home...right there in his arms, said everything I needed to know. The second half of 2009 our relationship was still shaky. We were trying to work through where we had been, and feelings (mine mostly) were still raw and vulnerable and while I was trying really hard, sometimes it was like walking on egg shells.

The Name Game

December 23: New Name. Let's meet again, for the first time. If you could introduce yourself to strangers by another name for just one day, what would it be and why? (author: Becca Willcot)

I hated my name when I was growing up. When I was at school, and starting a new grade with a teacher, and we did attendance for the first time,  there was always a discussion that went like this, "Beth xxxx".  "Here". "Is your whole name Elizabeth?" "No." "Bethany?" "No." "What is it then?" "Just plain Beth." :: big heavy sigh here ::  Even now, when I give my name as Beth, sometimes I get, "Legal name?".. that is my legal name. If I'm giving you my name for something important, and it was more than just Beth, don't you think I'd tell you?!? Arrrggg. Anyhow, that was then.

I Would Walk 100 Miles

December 22: Travel. Where did you travel in 2010? How and or where would you like to travel next year? (author: Tara Hunt)

The Boy™ and I were planning on taking a big trip this year to celebrate our 15th wedding anniversary. I was socking some money away each month in anticipation of the big event, and we even went out and bought a set of real luggage. We were thinking of a trip to the Mediterranean, and I had already started scoping out places we'd stay and things we'd do.  Then the contract work The Boy™ was doing ended and our financial situation changed, and that extra money that I had been saving, just wasn't there any more.

How Much Longer?!?!

December 21: Future Self. Imagine yourself five years from now. What advice would you give your current self for the years ahead? (bonus: write a note to yourself 10 years ago. What would you tell your younger self?) (author: Jenny Blake)

I couldn't help but think of the song Five Years Time by Noah and the Whales when I read today's prompt.  In five years from now I will be 41 years old. I will have celebrated my 20th wedding anniversary that year, hopefully by going on a big trip off this continent. I will have a son about to turn 21 years old, and be of legal drinking age. With any luck, he will be pursuing his dreams in a swanky college for highly intelligent people. I will have an 18 year old daughter who will just have graduated from H.S., and will hopefully be attending some swanky culinary school in her life dream of being a chef. For the first time in our married lives, The Boy™ and I will be alone. It's crazy to even think about, and more crazy to think that it will only be 5 years from now. Five years really isn't that long. I haven't considered until right now, that I will only have my children here for such a short time. There is so much that I still want to teach them, and share with them. I don't know what to tell my future self, other than to slow down. Spend more time together. Do less yelling. Let stuff go. Laugh together. Share things. Make this time together something that they will want to remember. Love them.

Ummmm.. No

December 20: Beyond Avoidance. What should you have done this year but didn't because you were too scared, worried, busy or otherwise deterred from doing? (Bonus: will you do it?) (author: Jack Nickell)

Some of these prompts are hard. Not because the answer to the question is hard, but because I don't know what the heck to write. I didn't skip doing anything this year because I was scared etc. I ran a half marathon that scared the heck out of me. I got a summer job when all I wanted to do was stay home and soak up the sun in my garden. I have done the hard scary things. There may be things I haven't done out of pure laziness, like running these past few months, but I like to think that I don't let myself stand in the way of what I want anymore. I used to be that person. I think I've grown into someone a lot better. Like, Beth version 3.0 or something.

When I Get That Feeling....

December 19: Healing. What healed you this year? Was it sudden, or a drip-by-drip evolution? How would you like to be healed in 2011?  (author: Leoni Allan)

I came here intending to post that I didn't receive any healing in 2010. I didn't have an area of my life, or a relationship that was in need of healing, other than with my mom, and I already blogged about that.  I sat here, and started typing, and decided that if I posted that, and went on to write about it, I would be a liar. I didn't intend to be a liar, I just had a moment of forgetting. That I could forget, says a lot about where I am now compared to this time last year.

Do or Do Not. There is NO Try.

photo from last night: ready for the semi-formal

December 18: Try. What do you want to try next year? Is there something you wanted to try in 2010? What happened when you did/didn't go for it? (author: Kaileen Elise)

It seems I always have a list of things that I want to do and try, and not enough time to get to them all. Next year I want to start snowshoeing on a regular basis. I hate winter, and I think if I had an outdoor activity that involved snow that I enjoy, it might make it more tolerable. I want to learn how to make a quilt. I'd love to be able to buy a decent bike and start biking on the days I don't run. I want to try my  hand at spinning yarn. I want to try and run a full marathon. Will I get any of these things done? I don't know.

This year I ran a half marathon. I learned to sew. I went away with husband for our anniversary. I learned how to be a better friend. I tried to be a better mom/wife and while I may have made a bit of progress at both of those things, I'm not sure I succeeded at either. Next year, I will try better.

Can You Teach an Old Dog New Tricks?

December 17: Lesson Learned. What was the best thing you learned about yourself this past year? And how will you apply that lesson going forward? (author: Tara Weaver)

In order to answer this question, I have to first ask myself, "What did you learn about yourself this year?" and then from there decide what the best thing was. That is a tricky question.  What did I learn about myself this year? I learned that I might be too hard on my kids, especially my son, and I need to be more understanding of his plight as a teenager and cut him some slack.

You've Got a Friend...

December 16: Friendship. How has a friend changed you or your perspective on the world this year? Was this change gradual, or a sudden burst? (author: Martha Mihalick)

I have been blessed with an amazing friendship over the past several years with a person whom I never would have "picked" as a friend for myself. Not that I didn't think this person would be a good friend, or was a great person.. but at this age in my life, I had resigned myself to having "old friends" and "people I know from work or around town".

Do You Remember....

December 15: 5 Minutes. Imagine you will completely lose your memory of 2010 in 5 minutes. Set an alarm and capture the things you most want to remember about 2010.  (author: Patti Digh)

Holding  my brand new niece for the first time. The joy I felt when seeing The Boy™ after he had been gone for almost 5 days. Working at the blueberry farm this summer. Saying goodbye to Millie. Ashley making honor roll for the first time in Middle School. My niece Victoria saying goodbye to me and giving me two fat smooches right on the lips. Finally finishing my craft room. A healing phone conversation with my mother. Running, and finishing a half marathon. Being at Sheri's wedding. Learning how to sew. Going to Boston for my birthday. Our anniversary trip.

* I did this without looking at my 2010 photo folder first, to get a glimpse of what went on this year. I pulled all this from my brain, and am sure I probably forgot a few important things, but this is what came out in 5 minutes.

In The Quiet and Calm..

December 14: Appreciate. What's the one thing you've come to appreciate most in the past year? How do you express gratitude for it? (author: Victoria Klein)

This question seems like it could lend itself to a lot of hokey answers: my husband, who's stepped up to the plate in more ways than I can list this year; my health, which I am truly blessed and grateful for when so many around me a sick with cancer and other awful things; my job, which is getting a little stressful due to some school board decisions... and so on and so forth. But all of those things, while I am grateful for and appreciate them... aren't what I'm most appreciative of. 

When I Grow Up.....

December 13: Action. When it comes to aspirations, it's not about ideas. It's about making ideas happen. What's your next step? (author: Scott Belsky)

"Far away there in the sunshine are my highest aspirations. I may not reach them, but I can look up and see their beauty, believe in them, and try to follow where they lead." ~ Louisa May Alcott

Body What?!

December 12: Body Integration. This year, when did you feel the most integration with your body? Did you have a moment when there wasn't mind and body, but simply a cohesive YOU, alive and present? (author: Patrick Reynolds)

 I will readily admit that when I first read this question I didn't understand it. I believe I was looking to literally at the word integration, and I wasn't sure I "got" what this question was asking me. So, I did what all 2010 web users do, and I went to Google. I punches in 'body integration' and came up with this website. It told me that 'mind body integration is the process of learning how to be more conscious and present in the moment and to then be able to live a more full and joyful life.' I didn't search any further, because really.. I get that.

Kickin' it to the Curb...

December 11: 11 Things. What are 11 things your life doesn't need in 2011? How will you go about eliminating them? How will getting rid of these 11 things change your life? (author: Sam Davidson)

The answers to this question will be a work in progress until I have all 11 listed. Here goes:

1.  Obligations. Don't get me wrong, I've got nothing against obligations.. I've just got too many of them. I always feel obligated to do this, obligated to this. I can't say no when someone asks me to do something. I really need to work on this. My life has gotten crazy and I have far too many things going on to keep track of them all. I need to become that person who says no, and is OK with it.

Letting Go...

December 10: Wisdom. What was the wisest decision you've made this year, and how did it play out? (author: Susannah Conway)

I only get to see my mother once a year. Her convent is very generous and gives her two weeks of vacation, and she usually comes up the last week of July/first week of August. Up until a few years ago, she would spend one week with me, and the other week with one of my brothers. A few years ago, in 2008, we had a HUGE falling out. I mean huge. It wasn't over any one thing really, it was a gradual build up of a lot of little things that just keep building and building. Looking back, I relate myself to a pressure cooker. Over time, years actually, all of these little things just kept making me angry, and instead of dealing with them and discussing them (past experience had taught me that would go nowhere), they built up inside until the lid blew off. What an explosion it was. Things were said, feelings were hurt, and I ended up telling me she couldn't stay here next time she came to visit.

We're Having a Party....

December 10: Party. What social gathering rocked your socks off in 2010? Describe the people, music, food, drink, clothes, shenanigans. (author: Shauna Reid)

I was all ready to post about how 2010 was the year without a social gathering, when I remembered that one of my coworkers got married this summer. Only one other of our friends from work was invited, and so we attended together. We figured if we were going to show up to a gather of near 300 people, where we only knew each other, and the bride and groom, it was best to stick together, so we went as  each others date.

In the Eye of the Beholder

December 8: Beautifully Different. Think about what makes you different and what you do that lights other people up. Reflect on all the things that make you different-you'll find they're what makes you beautiful. (author: Karen Walrond)

I put off answering this, because at first glance I thought the question was, 'what makes you beautiful?' and I don't feel beautiful, ever, so I wasn't sure what the heck I would write about.

It Takes a Village....

December 7: Community. Where have you discovered community, online or otherwise in 2010? What community would you like to join, create or more deeply connect with in 2011? (author: Cali Harris)

I'm ashamed to admit that I've connected the most this year, with my Facebook community. I have reconnected with old friends whom I hadn't actually gotten out of touch with, but we would send a few letters or cards now and then.. and now we can chat on a regular basis and keep up with each other.

She's a Crafty Thing

December 6: Make. What was the last thing you made? What materials did you use? Is there something you want to make, but need to clear some time for? (author: Gretchen Rubin)

I've been trying to make time each week to at least make SOMETHING, and finish it. I've got an uncanny knack for starting projects, especially knitting ones that take a long time, and then moving on to something new and exciting before they are finished. In fact, one of my 2011 goals is going to be to finish at least half of my old projects before I start any new ones. Just last night, I made another project for the sewing class I signed up for over the summer. This was actually supposed to be the third project I made, but I skipped over it to make a set of bibs for each of my nieces. When I first signed up for the class, I wrote down the supplies for the first 3 or 4 projects, and after lunch with some friends, went fabric shopping. One of my friends came with me, as the store was having a "going out of business sale", and  as I pondered whether or not I liked this fabric, mentioned that she really loved it. She doesn't sew, so I made a show of saying that I liked it too, and I thought I'd get it for one of my projects. This was the first sewing project I did, where I felt like I really knew what I was doing. I didn't have to rip out any seams. I didn't get frustrated with any part of it. I hemmed all the raw edges on my own, as I went which wasn't part of the instructions, and I'm tickled with how it came out. I also knit her a pair of fingerless gloves, and have to come up with a clever way to wrap it them up.

I Am A Quitter

December 5: Let Go. What (or whom) did you let go of this year? Why? (author: Alice Bradley)

On looking back at the blog entries from this past year, of which I'm sad to report there are few of, I realized that I never came and blogged about quitting steel drums. Way back in March, I posted my last post about drumming, and made mention to how much time it was sucking out of my life, and that was it.

Sometime later in the spring.. in fact it was the weekend of the Made in NH Expo, when I couldn't go play because I had a migraine headache and the thought of playing 6 large bass drums made me want to curl up in a ball and cry.. I realized I needed to be done. It was taking up too much time, and I felt like I was having to choose between the kids and their activities, and rehearsals and gigs, and no matter what I choose, I felt like I was failing at something. I was also looking at having to work all summer, and try to fit in Steel Drums and couldn't figure when my family was going to ever see me. That is far too much stress for what started out as something "fun to do in my free time."

The Wonder of it All...

December 4:Wonder. How did you cultivate a sense of wonder in your life this year? (Author: Jeff Davis)

Maybe a better question would be, "Did you cultivated a sense of wonder in your life this year?" I have been thinking about this all day, as I saw the prompt this morning, and I don't know if I have an answer yet. The closest thing I can think of... is having small children in my life again. I have 2 teens, and for almost 12 years, they were the only children on both sides of our families. There were 2 yrs between when my nephew Max passed away and my niece Victoria was born. So for almost 14 years, my kids were it. Having my niece, and now a brand new baby right in time for the holidays, has been such a blessing. You forget how sweet and fun little children are, and what a blessing they are in your life. Hearing updates from my MIL, and my niece's mom, is really such a highlight for me. They live 1.5 hours away, which while it isn't *THAT* far, in the craziness and chaos that is my life.. we don't get to see them as often as we'd like. We have a visit planned over the holiday break, and I cannot wait. There's just something about a little hand gripped around yours, or a small child's head resting on your shoulder that just puts everything right with the world.(yes I made the hat.. there is a matching red/white sweater to go along with it, in the spirit of the holidays)

One Moment In Time....

December 3: Moment. Pick one moment during which you felt most alive this year. Describe it in vivid detail (texture, smells, voices, noises, colors). (Author: Ali Edwards)

When I first read this prompt, I have to admit I was a bit frustrated. How the heck was I going to remember anything that happened this year that fit this description when it's been crazy, and busy, and full of long hours of working. Then I remembered. I ran a half marathon this year. I ran 13.1 consecutive miles on a Sunday morning in September, without stopping except 1x to take a quick potty break. I had never run more than 9 miles at any one time, and that was only a few weeks prior. I have to say.. that was one of the most amazing days I've ever had. You can read about the pre-race here, but I never did come back and blog after the race.  

No Truer Words Were Ever Penned....

December 2 – Writing. What do you do each day that doesn’t contribute to your writing — and can you eliminate it? (Author: Leo Babauta)

Most of the writing that I do these days, is here, on my blog. As you can see from my lousy posting totals for this entire year, it's not much, if anything at all. I spent an early morning shower thinking about this the other day (I do my best thinking in the shower, it's quiet), and realized that Facebook has been the downfall of my blog. Before, if I had something to say, or pics to share, I came here. I blogged my pics, and my stories and shared what I was thinking and feeling in one post, and moved on. Then I discovered Facebook, with it's status updates and photo albums, and my blog went quiet. See, Facebook is fast and easy. One quick line, or less than 2 mins, and you can have an update, a video with a link, and/or a new photo album created. Blogging takes a little more time. You have to format your thoughts, type them all up, add the pics (and Blogger's been a bugger about this on my end as of late) and then publish it. I can send status updates from my cell phone. Creating a post about what's on my mind from my phone seems a little long, and tedious. I wasn't proud of this realization, nor am I proud of the amount of time I am sure that I waste on any of the various computer actives that I embark upon each day.  Do I want to give any of them up however? No. What I do want to do, is use that time more productively. Do what I intended to do, then close the cover of my laptop and go do something else. That's the thing I need to work on the most. Shutting the cover.

To Sum It All Up.....

This month, in an effort to blog more, and reflect back on my year better, I've signed up for Reverb 10. It's an annual event designed to help you focus on where you've been through the year, and think about what's coming next. Right up my ally. Each day of this month, I am dedicated to posting an answer to the prompt, and because ya'll know that photography is my first love, I will be posting pictures from my daily December 2010 life. Win-Win if you ask me. So, here goes. Day 1.

December 1 One Word.
Encapsulate the year 2010 in one word. Explain why you’re choosing that word. Now, imagine it’s one year from today, what would you like the word to be that captures 2011 for you?
(Author: Gwen Bell)

Long time readers of my blog will know that I participate in Ali Edward's One Little Word project each year. I usually start out the year really strong, and then as it goes on, and life gets more busy, my word falls to the wayside. My word for this year was BALANCE. I went back and read the blog post from when I shared my word. My goal was to take a hard look at my life, and see if I could find a balance between the busy and the every day. Looking back on this past year, I think I have fallen short of my goal, but for the first time in a few years of having a word, I didn't fail altogether.

A Day of Mixed Blessings

Yesterday, at 8:25am, The Boy™'s sister gave birth to my beautiful new niece, Evelyn Elizabeth. Evie weighed a respectable 9 lbs, 13 ounces, is 21 inches long (though her daddy says he's sure it read 21.5, but he's not arguing), and is the most beautiful baby I have ever seen (since her sister was born almost 2 yrs ago of course). Being a short work week, we were not able to make it to the hospital, so my other SIL texted me as soon as there was any news, and updated me with photos, and stats, and then eventually the name. See, Evie's mom and dad have thing thing about revealing the sex ahead of time, but not the name they have chosen. The name gets revealed with the baby. I love that the two names that were chosen, are both of the first names of each of my grandmothers (this was not known to my SIL at the time). I never met my grandmother Evelyn, as she died when my mom was 19, and my grandma Elizabeth was known as Betty by those that used her name. I was very moved when I found out, and tickled beyond measure.

Maybe We Should Just "Leaf" Them There

I think that if I were to look back in the archives of the blog, I might discover that in the history of owning our house, this is the LATEST we have ever raked our leaves. This fall has been crazy busy, as I suspect most falls until the kids have graduated from HS will be, and we just didn't have the time. Last weekend, I looked at my calender and realized that every weekend for the rest of the month was free. Nothing was written on any of the days. I actually conferred with the people in my house to make sure that I didn't miss anything, and then secretly did a dance. We haven't had a free weekend in ages, let alone 3 in a row!

To Write Love On Her Arm...

Yesterday, was "To Write Love On Her Arms" day. In order to bring attention to teen suicide, depression and self mutilation that often stems from depression, a not-for-profit group started this movement and has chosen November 12th as the day to draw attention to it. I found out about it from my teenaged daughter, who is more up on these "days" than I am. You can read about TWLOHA by clicking on that link. Last year I attended a day long training from NAMI, which is the National Alliance on Mental Illness, on Suicide Prevention. I am actually qualified to be a "turn to" person in my community due to this. Having been down the dark road of depression more than once in my life, this is a cause that is near and dear to my heart. With help comes hope. If someone you know is in crisis, direct them to the Hope Line. Yesterday, with a permanent marker, I wrote love on my arm. Today, I'm considering if I want to have it there forever.

In Which We Give Thanks.....

Sophie helps set the table. 

 For a few years now, my daughter has been mentioning how nice it would be to have Thanksgiving at home. We used to have Thanksgiving at my grandmothers house. Then, when she wasn't able to do it anymore, my aunt took over. It has dwindled down to just us, and a few of my brothers and my dad and grandpa over the years. I like the idea of having the kids come home for Thanksgiving (when they are older of course), and so I agreed, on one condition. Until my grandpa passes on, we continue to go to my aunts. I suggested however that we might pick a random weekend in early November and do our own thing anyhow. Just cuz we've never had a big turkey dinner at home.

Day Late and a Dollar Short

So here it is, the fourth day of the month, and I'm already behind in posting every day. I hope that doesn't speak much about how the rest of my month will go. I was going to come and blog about something, but when I sat down here at the computer, and Sophie jumped up on the dresser behind me (more on that in a minute), I was inspired to post about her.

You might remember that Sophie came home in a lunchbox, on a hot summer day in August a few years ago. Ms. Thang and I were watching Harry Potter, and The Boy™ came home from work early, which was, and still is, a rare occurrence at my house.

Not a Second-Class Citizen

I polled a class of first graders this morning on why today, the first Tuesday in November, was such an important day. I recieved answers ranging from, "It's almost Thankgiving." to "We're about to celebrate St. Patrick's Day." Not one of them knew that it was election day until I asked them why we had so many cars on the playground and were eating lunch in the classroom today. That's when the hands shot up. "Oooh.. oooh! It's cuz of voting!!!". This was followed by a quick lesson about what we were voting for today. Some of them thought we were voting for a new president. I thought I should set them straight. They may not have got it, but they all know that they are called mid-term elections. Job well done.

Nearly November...

Oh wait, it is November. I don't exactly know how we got here.. but here we are. In an effort to reclaim my free time.. I am making a sincere dedication to blogging every day in November. Stop laughing.. I mean it. I have lots to share with you.. things that I should've already have shared, but just have been too stinking busy. I joke often about how when the kids were little, I used the mantra "things will slow down when they are older".. or "things will be easier when they aren't little anymore". Who the heck did I think I was kidding? Myself that's who. It got me through those wretched young years and now here we are. They are older. Things are more crazy then they ever have been. Ya'll.. I am darn tired! But that's a post for another day. :)

What a Stink

Back in my teen-aged years, I remember getting magazines meant for teens, that were full of samples of perfumes. Every 20 pages or so would have a card-stock insert screaming, "lift here for ____" or " rub here for _______".  Back in those days, I thought it was the coolest thing. The only scent my mother ever bought for me was Luv's Baby Soft (remember that?!) and magazine samples let me be bold and daring. I'd rip them out and save them in a drawer in my nightstand.

October is for Pumpkins

After getting back late last night from Dover (I'll do a post about the band show later today), it wasn't too hard to convince myself to get back into bed at 5am after shutting off the alarm. The phone woke me up at 7:45am, and at first I was startled to see the sun. When you get up at 5am in October, it's typically pitch dark out. In fact, at 6:45am, it's still pitch dark out. The darkness, at both ends of the day, is something I struggle with every year. It messes with my running schedule, it messes with my mental well being, and it makes me tired.

A Time Of Balance

If you've read my blog for a while, or even if you are new and have done some back reading, you will know that as much as I LOVE summer with all it's long days and warm weather, fall is my favorite season. I love fall. I love the cooler mornings, the crisp, dry air, the colors of fall, on the leaves and in my wardrobe (it shouldn't surprise you that I am a fall and look best in it's colors), the way wood smoke smells in the air, pots of soup simmering for dinner, fresh bread., and warm cozy sweaters. I could go on and on, but I will stop.

On This Day.....

The nicest thing about getting up early, before everyone else in the house, is the quiet and solitude that comes with the awakening of the day. Some days I go off and run, and don't get to enjoy it fully, but other days it's the recharge I need to get through my day.

This morning I went back and read all the blog posts I've written about this day (9/11) since 2006. In 2006 when I started my blog, I wasn't quite sure what I wanted to use it for yet, and there is a lot of ridiculous rambling.  The other posts however, from 2007, 2008 and 2009, all brought tears to my eyes. I don't know what I could write today, that could top what I said then, so if you want to know my thoughts and feelings, please go back and read those posts.

I Run For Life

When I started running several years ago, it was a very selfish thing, that I needed to get through a very difficult time in my life. I wasn't sure then where it would go, but I needed it at that time and so I stuck with it. I never dreamed that I would enjoy running. I never dreamed of how powerful and strong running would make me feel. Something that I wasn't able to feel in my life, due to past circumstances. I remember the day I first went out on the tracks and ran uninterrupted for the first time (I had been following the C25K plan which has you start out with walking and short bursts of running). I think it might have only been a mile, but when I started, I couldn't run down the end of my street.

On Being Educated

Dear Children,

I realize that the school district screwed with us this year, and instead of going back on a 3 day-4 day- full week schedule, we started out whole hog with a 5 day school week. I'm not happy about it either. In fact, being that I work with tired, whiny 6 year olds (and I can't blame them, I feel tired and whiny about it also), I might be more unhappy about it than you, because I also have to go outside in the middle of the day, on a shadeless playground for recess duty. I also realize that mother nature is a cruel, miserable hag this year and dumped another heat wave on us for the first week of classes. Remember that my school building is over 150 years old and brick, and once it heats up, it just keeps getting hotter. It's hard to be in an oven-like atmosphere, and focus and concentrate on.. well.. anything. I get it. I get it all. We are in the same boat if you think about it. 

In Which It Rains During the Only Days Off I Had.....

When I first got my job at the Blueberry Farm early in the summer, I joked with The Boy™ that because I was working outside that it wouldn't rain all summer. I never dreamed that would actually be the case. It rained a few times during the summer, mostly on days I had off, or at night. One day early in July I had the day off of work due to rain, and one day in early August I got to leave early due to rain. Those were the only two work days affected.

I stopped working at the farm on August 20th, which was a Friday, and had to be back at work for the start of school on the following Thursday. Saturday we had our trip to Quechee Gorge, and on Sunday, Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday it rained. On the first day I was kind of enamored by it. We needed the rain, I needed a day to get some inside stuff done. It was a nice change from hot and sunny. Then it kept on raining and I was a lot less happy. My lawn needed to be mowed. My hedges needed to be trimmed (only for the 2nd time all summer.. very strange!). My gardens are weedy and over grown.

Of course, Thursday and Friday were gorgeous, as it goes, but so was the weekend. I was able to get the lawn mowed, and the hedges done on Saturday and the yard looks 80% better. The weeding will have to wait until the heat wave ebbs.

An End Of Summer Road Trip

Having worked all summer long, I wanted to take a family road trip before going back to school. I didn't know where I wanted to go, or what I wanted to do, but it had to be something we'd never done, and not too far away. One of my friends had mentioned Quechee Gorge in Vermont, and I remembered that as I was Googling local attractions and looked it up. I read about a Gorge, a Village and a Brewery not that far away, and I was sold.

It was only about an hour and 45 minutes away, and I can't believe it took us this long to go visit and explore.  We went to the Harpoon Brewery for lunch, then decided to hit the Village before the Gorge. We visited an antique mall that boasted a Toy Museum that had toys from every age on display (and was soooooooo very cool), several very cool stores, including one by the Cabot Farms dairy people, and had home made ice cream. After that, we continued on the Gorge. This picture was looking down one way from the bridge.

How I Spent My Summer Vacation

For the past few years The Boy™ has been doing contract work for a company he used to work for, on top of also working for our school district, and so for 2 summers I got to be home during my summer break. This past fall, the company decided that they no longer required his services and ended his contract. I spent several months stressing out about summer work, searching and calling and getting nowhere at all. By a stroke of luck, one of my Zoning Board members owns a Blueberry Farm, and at a meeting in mid-June I asked if they needed help this summer. It just so happens that they did, and I was relieved when his wife called and offered me the position.

A Birthday Wish.... Granted

Way back in December, when I asked Mr. Man what he wanted for his birthday, he replied that he wanted to go shooting with his dad and Grampie. I thought that was a reasonable birthday gift,and The Boy™ explained that when the weather was better, they would go out, but it was too cold to go shooting in December. The weather has been nice for some time now, and Mr. Man has been asking when he gets to go shooting.

Garden 2010

2010 will be known at the year we had a "good old fashioned summer." My kids, who have never known a real summer in there lives, have spent countless hours complaining about how hot it has been since July started. I have tried to impress upon them, that this is SUMMER. July is SUPPOSED to be hot. I, on the other hand, have been loving every minute of it, even with having to work 40 hours outside in the heat. (that's another post)

The Keeping of Chickens

I must admit, I have always wanted chickens. When we bought our house in 2001, The Boy™ picked up a book at Barnes and Nobles called Storey's Basic Country Skills. It is a very handy book, and we have referred to it many times over the years for everything from deskunking the dog, to fixing things in the house. One day during that first winter, I curled up with the book on a cold snowy day, and read through the whole thing. I didn't read the entire book, more than flip through the entire thing, reading about what struck my fancy. I told The Boy™ that it was too bad we had just gotten a birding dog, because I'd love to have a few chickens. Later on I found out that you aren't "supposed" to have livestock in the Village District of our town, and that was that.

It's Not Cool... or The Story of Our New Fridge

On July 8th, I woke up at 5am like I normally do, and set about having breakfast. My typical breakfast consists of a bowl of Kellogg's Healthy Start cereal and a cup of coffee. I poured my cereal, and sat down to eat it. I remember thinking to myself, "this milk doesn't seem very cold". I went about making my lunch for work, and thought, "this stuff doesn't seem very cold either". A week or two prior, due to having ice in our milk, I had gotten a fridge/freezer thermometer and put it in the back of the fridge. I had a look at it, and it read 64*f. By the time The Boy™ got out of the shower, it was up to 68*f.

First Annual Fourth of July Cookout

Now that we don't have a family party in July to celebrate Ms. Thang's birthday, and due to having to work every weekend, except our anniversary weekend, for the rest of the summer, I thought it might be nice to have a cookout to celebrate the Fourth of July. Due to financial restraints, this year I only invited immediate members of both sides of our families. It turned out that all the people from my side of the family could make it, only The Boy's ™ parents could come from his side, and we had it on the 3rd.

A Day At The Beach

When you told me that you wanted to take today off, and go to the beach, I was more than a bit surprised. You don't like the beach very much. You're not a huge fan of the heat, or being in the sun, and you burn like a marshmallow in a campfire. You're idea of fun at the beach is going at night, and spending several hours walking the strip and hanging out in the arcade. Now that we are responsible adults with jobs, I didn't think that was quite what you had in mind. When I pressed you for a reason, you simply told me you wanted fried clams for your birthday dinner, and where better to go, but the beach.

Summer Snapshots

or, Some Things I Got Done on What Might Be The Only Week I Had Off all Summer

1. I have had this slate sitting on my craft desk for months now. I found it out in the barn either last summer or last fall, and asked The Boy™ if he could drill a hole that matched a hole already in the slate so that I could paint a sign and hang it on our new lamp pole. (I told you, it's been a while) He agreed, and did just that and then it sat on my desk. In the spring, I took a trip to the store and bought a few things of craft paint meant to be used on outdoor things, and some leather strapping to hang it up. After that, I sketched out the lettering for how I wanted our name to look, and hit a road block. What did I want to paint on the sign? My slate sat some more, and every once in a while I'd sit and look at it and think, and came up with nothing. The other day I decided I was going to do the lettering, and either be inspired to paint something, or just hang it with our name and call it done. I was tired of the slate on my desk. I think it came out pretty good, even if it wasn't quite what I envisioned.